March 05, 2004
I can be any machine you want me to be.
It's 12:30 pm on the first Friday in March, and I'm sitting on the floor wearing a blanket instead of decent clothing, drawing a big, intricate and dazzlingly colorful tattoo design in colored pencils on a picture of my back. Occasionally I'll stop to giggle gleefully or ponder words like "intoxicating" and "luscious". I'm also deciding whether it would be better to eat sourdough toast or make scones and eat those; perhaps, indeed, I'll design a scone-and-toast-themed tattoo and draw it on myself in strawberry jam, simply because I can.
I'm having a goddamned good day.
Posted by dianna at March 5, 2004 12:32 PM
it would be better to make scones, then (maybe put on some clothes and) travel the short distance between your house and my office, give me the scones, proclaim "I am the Scone Goblin," giggle fiendishly if you must, and disappear in a crackle of sulphur-scented lightning.
you make me both jealous and hungry.
if you have time after cackling at kristen, come bring me scones in the library and chortle some more.
People who live in grass houses shouldn't throw scones.
Because crumbs might get caught in the grass and attract birds and mice which would then want to chew on and destroy the grass as well as the scone crumbs. It would be pretty tragic to lose your entire eco-friendly house just because you couldn't control your pastry-flinging urges.
Kristen, you should travel the short distance from your office to my house to retrieve the scones, because the time it will take for me to make them will correspond roughly to the time it will take for you to walk here. Then you'll have scone-fuel for the walk back. Michele, you're out of luck unless one of us figures out the trick to that sulphur-scented lightning business and finds out whether it works across bodies of water. I could bring dessert to sushi night, though. Hey, now there's an idea.
a tasty idea. a good, tasty idea.
I AM THE SCONE GOBLIN! EE HEE HEE HEE HEE!
you feel free to bring a dessert if you want.
i bought a box mix of jew brownies to make, manashewitz!, but we can have other things too. i like tastiness. there will also be vegetable tempura.
(i'm actually a little concerned about the jew brownies. could they possibly be tasty? i just don't know.)
They might be tasty. What about cake? Lemon? Carrot? Forget the cake and make cookies? So many decisions... alas....
Those are suggestions for things I might bring, not suggestions to fling the jew brownies out the window and make something else. I'm intrigued by these jew brownies.
And the tempura. Goddamn. Excuse me while I go find a napkin to clean up all this saliva.
i like lemon and carrot cake. i only like carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, and can you eat cream cheese? if it isn't going to have cream cheese frosting, i vote against it. lemon with bitter chocoloate frosting is good. or um, i don't know. whatever you want. and we will have brownies in reserve.
Frosting of any kind is a tricky proposition here, because a) I don't have beaters and mixing in tons of powdered sugar by hand is a pain. I did it for Jacob's birthday and I'm never doing it again unless it's Jacob's birthday or some other similar labor of love. And b) my cakes tend to be too soft to spread thick icing on without destroying them.
So we're in glaze territory here. Or a solid layer of melty chocolate chips, which might not be the worst thing in the world.
(sad, disappointed voice) but it's jacob's birthday tomorrow.
Dude, it isn't even his half-birthday. That's next month. You could at least try to convince me that it's National Vegan Cake With Tasty Frosting Day or something.
Or get Jacob to come make sad eyes at me and insist that it's fine that I forgot his secret March 6th birthday and he doesn't blame me at all. No, really. It's okay, Dianna, I know you love me even if you don't show it.
That was such an appalling guilt trip in my head that I think I'd better go make some frosting before I cry.
it's national vegan cake day with tasty frosting tomorrow, you know.
very similar to how may 1st is pig day. which would make may 2nd: tasty pork on a stick day with applesauce.
dianna, you are suck a cracker.
er...that was a weird and wonderful typo.
dianna, you are such a crackup.
I vote for a quake. A great big destructive quake. That will level buildings, making them fall into chocolatey bits to crush the tiny little people into the delicious icing.
good plan, secret birthday boy.
when is this tastiness starting up tomorrow? and would dianna and jacob like a ride since they drove to the city last time? these are the questions that fill my mind tonight.
"I would love a ride," quoth Dianna. "I would love a ride," quoth Jacob.
"Stop copying me," quoth Dianna. "Stop copying me," quoth Jacob.
"I'm a poo-poo head," quoth Dianna. "I know you are, but what am I?" quoth Jacob.
Jacob, you suck a cracker, too.