July 22, 2004
Clients fucking rule.
This morning a fellow for whom we're building (I think) a condominium complex came in for a meeting with the owner of the office. They talked for a few hours about designs and themes and schemes and planning departments and all that good stuff. Then, on his way out, the client asked if he could borrow me to carry a few things in. I grabbed a nearby architect and we trotted out to the client's car to see what we were bringing in.
"12 people in your office?" he asked. Er... yes? "Plus families," he mused as he opened the trunk. "You can take some home."
Fruit. Did I say fruit? Nine boxes of meltingly ripe, delicious fresh fruit. Apparently he has ties to a ranch that can spare... 12 cartons of organic raspberries. Two giant crates of cantaloupe. 10 pounds of apricots and an equal number of cherries. Peaches. Blueberries (sorry, Katie). Tomatoes. They're stacked in a teetering, tempting pile in the front of the office because really, where else are we going to put them? We barely have room for our staff of 12 in our tiny office, and this is a stash of fruit that would have solved Napoleon's supply problems.
I'm doing my part to defuse the fruit crisis; let no one say that I'm not helping. I ate four giant slices of sweet, soft, ripe cantaloupe and I'm working on a plate of perfect golden cherries. I think there's something to be said for the idea of bringing a bag of peaches to the park for lunch instead of my leftover lasagna, although I do have to consider that I'll be spending the rest of the afternoon dealing with the wafting smell of sun-ripened heaven. I don't want to burn out on it too soon.
Jacob, I'll be bringing home a hell of a lot of fruit. Register your preferences now and I will select accordingly.
Posted by dianna at July 22, 2004 12:01 PM
i wish i was jacob right now. because i would request mounds and mounds of cherries. mmm cherries. damn you, jacob! you lucky bastard.
you know...it would be better to be dianna right now as she has all the fruit at her disposal. curse you, dianna! you fruit harlot.
Raspberry and peach! I choose you!
I'm likely to bring home some of everything, actually. I will make an effort to sneak more than my fair share of raspberries and peaches if I get the opportunity. Oh, wait. I'm sitting up here in the front of the office by myself. I'll have the opportunity.
Michele: muahahahaha. I'd be willing to swing a cherry deal in exchange for early custody of catcatcat. Silencing Jacob's objections will be your job.
I feel the need to point out that I'm now sitting at my desk eating spicy dark chocolate and sweet cherries in alternating bites. Hot. It's so decadent that I feel like I should also be wearing black latex and resting my stiletto-ed feet on the back of a harnessed and collared slave who's only allowed to get up to refill my cherry bowl or maybe fetch me an elegant goblet of nice port.
silence jacob! don't speak!
Impertinent woman! Stop spoiling my fun!
what? you told me to silence him!
perhaps you could also feel your hapless victim indecent amounts of:
argh! and you're not even going to bake any of this fruit with sugar and alcohol! or a nice pastry crust!
I told you to silence him from objecting to the cat, not silence him from volunteering to fetch me fruit and be my footstool. It's an important distinction.
Sugar and alcohol.... maybe I should make another cobbler! Or a buckle, grunt, slump or maybe just a pie. Mmm. Pie.
it is an important distinction. but i was merely doing what was ordered. jacob can wear chains and latex if he wants. i don't care.
I said nothing about chains and latex. Those are optional. Feeding me fruit is not.
I do appreciate your diligent performance of requested duties. Thank you. Cherries?
moan. if only. sadly, i am well aware that there is no way i can get cherries from you. so depressing. logistics are a pain.
not catcatcat, the other one, is getting in fights with other cats at my mom's house. just one of them. and she keeps whupping his ass. so she may be shy, but she's territorial. this is your friendly update from me on the status of the catcatcats.