October 04, 2004
Oh my god, it totally slipped my mind.
Posted by dianna at October 4, 2004 07:58 PM
Mr. Kerry, you think you're all set,
But I'll win on election day yet!
For I've seen your big flaw.
To our friends in Warsaw:
Dearest Poland, I'll never forget.
I realize it isn't terribly productive to mock our allies, but I really don't think Kerry's omitting Poland was really because he forgot about them, but because their presence there is now totally negligible. They only ever had like 2500 troops there and they announced back in April that they were going to begin withdrawing troops over a period of time. However, I really enjoy the YouForgotPoland site, as well. Photshop + funny Bush expressions = priceless.
"I really don't think Kerry's omitting Poland was really because he forgot about them, but because their presence there is now totally negligible."
Yes. That's the joke.
Nonsense. If the US plus the UK plus Australia isn't a grand global coalition, then surely the US plus the UK plus Australia plus Poland is. It's the most important thing John Kerry could possibly have left out, and the most devastating rebuttal George Bush could have delivered. Well done, Mr. Bush.
And don't forget Albania, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, the Czech Republic, Denmark, the Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Estonia, Georgia, Honduras, Hungary, Italy, Japan, Kazakhstan, South Korea, Latvia, Lithuania, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Thailand, and the Ukraine...
I'm sorry, what was that again? ...I forgot.
That's the list of countries other than the U.S., Australia, and the U.K. who are providing military support in Iraq.
For example, Portugal has sent 128 military police personnel. Kazakhstan has sent three people! They work at Central Command!
And I guess this is also a list of countries that now hate John Kerry with a bitter, bitter rage. He forgot them!
Nooooo, no, no. Kerry would never forget Moldova; he's not that crazy.
Pssst.... the list that didn't involve Poland was actually of countries involved at the beginning of the Iraq war, not countries that have gotten involved since. So Azerbaijan can rest easy knowing that it was not forgotten, it was merely outside the scope of the list.
I don't see why Bush cares who's "on the list" or not since I thought he didn't care about gaining the world's approval in order to "defend our country". Why should we accord special respect to people who are willing to basically co-sign on our war when we don't need anyone else's approval? Why do we even need allies when we can afford to wage was abroad and adequately protect our homeland? Perhaps Bush does recognize, even if just a little bit and in a less-than-conscious way, that having friends and supporters does matter... he's just more concerned about the number of countries that support us, rather than the quality of their support or their international prestige.
"Karl Rove is my brain, Dick my heart
(hard sediment falling apart)
Dear Johnny and Donny
my steel fists of folly,
and Condi my matronly haught.
Old Powell's the ace up my sleeve:
the part I convinced to believe
the lies and the pander
while other parts slander
and spin the great wheels of the weave.
Young Powell's my hand on the bible,
creating a monster unrivaled-
a censorship giant,
a broadcast goliath
who gladly disseminates libel
You'll try to combat our cohesion,
but terms of debate we've been seizing,
so don't try to argue
'cause you play by our rules
and we follow none; we are Legion."
Mister, I want to see your diploma from Rhyme School. I don't believe you earned that degree.
All of this Poland shit also reminds me of when we released a list of the countries we'd roped into the "Coalition of the Willing" and it turned out to include Eritrea. Someone from the UK Guardian called up the Eritrean embassy to ask them what kind of help they were planning to provide, and the ambassador sat in stunned silence for a minute before asking, "Uh, could you call back in the morning?"
I mean, if we're going to remember Eritrea and Uzbekistan, I think a passing shout out to Poland is pretty key. They've got an army! They've got sausages!
It was an honorary Ph.D. - I didn't take the classes or pay the tution, but they felt obligated to recognize my awesomeness nevertheless.
I'm also tempted to make some flip comment about rhythmic pots and rhyming kettles. Between the two, I'd argue the rhyming enjoys more latitude, seeing as how oratic performance inherently disrupts the strict definiton of rhyming in which you're apparently ensconced.