February 09, 2005
I've been reading Craiglist so much I'm thinking in open letters.
To the guy (or girl, quite possibly) in rather impressive gutterpunk regalia who was apparently shooting up next to the bus stop at 24th and Valencia this morning, and yesterday also:
Did you realize that if you cross the street and continue 30 more feet there's a totally deserted alley in which you could perform this morning ritual in comfort and solitude without people smacking you (as it were) with shopping bags as they walk past and without needing to hunch over against the bus bench to ineffectually hide what you're doing, or were you just looking for attention?
It's called Poplar, by the way, that alley I was talking about. The name's pressed into the cement at the curb so you can't miss it, and since your morning routine apparently takes you across Valencia in that direction anyway, it would be awfully convenient. Next time I see you at that damn bus bench I'll kick you in the pants and drag you over there myself. I mean, I won't, but I'd like to.
Posted by dianna at February 9, 2005 11:50 AM
smack her with a wet noodle! smackeroni!
do i hear a "YUM, YUM, YUM!"?
Um, wait, do you? Is it regarding deliciously cheesy pasta-based foods, or the actual subject of this post, which as far as I can recall had no cheese on, near, or related to it whatsoever?
Oh jesus. You're a pirate, aren't you.
pirates don't like cheese. they like the briny sea and scurvy, yar.
Yes, but they say ar. They might say it several times in succession, which you just did. That's why I asked.
to put you out of your misery and confusion, let me tell you that generally when i say, 'ar, ar, ar!' i am quoting a cartoon kristen used to draw in high school entitled, 'michele the mouth', in which the cartoon version of me with an improbably large head and a tiny pair of panties would get up to wacky antics eating airheads and boys. and sometimes my own panties.
and each cartoon would include a word bubble of michele the mouth thoughtfully saying "i like boys" (or whatever she was munching) and then in big amusement "AR AR AR!!!"