April 13, 2005
Qwx: Post it.
I'm very forgetful, and what I appear to have forgotten this week is that a 12-person office does not need 30 individual packs of 3" post-it notes. That's not strictly true. I didn't forget not to order them; I just made a mistake on the form and got an extra dozen of the stupid things.
Now what to do? I can play it cool and insist that I meant to do that because I'm very pro-active about office supplies. If we run out of post-it notes and you're not outraged, I'll say indignantly, you're not paying attention. Or I can hide the extra dozen in my desk drawer and pretend I never ordered them; no one will be any the wiser except the office manager, who checks the order records. The downside to this is that I'm likely to forget that they're there, with obviously hilarious consequences.
Neither of these quite satisfies me. I'm convinced that there are more worthwhile things to do with 3,000 3" square sticky notes. Here are some possibilities that intrigue me:
- Create a Hansel-and-Gretel-style trail of paper scraps from here to the park or from here to the BART station, in case I forget how to get there.
- String clotheslines across the interior of the office, cut the sticky notes into t-shirt and pants shapes and give the impression of thousands of tiny pieces of laundry hanging out to dry.
- Wad up each note into a ball and hide them in the grass at the park for a massive Easter egg hunt.
- Re-shingle the upper floor of the building.
- Wrap them around the horizontal blinds in the front window, tinting the incoming light yellow, pink, blue, green, or a mosaic of all of the above.
- Stick them to the ceiling fans and pretend that I'm hearing hordes of butterflies fluttering gently above my head.
- Write myself 3,000 notes saying, "Dianna, don't order any more post-its."
Please add your own suggestions below.
Posted by dianna at April 13, 2005 01:18 PM
Become a Post-It ninja and deliver silent death in the form of billions of slighty tacky paper cuts.
Yes! YES! Brilliant! And no one would really get hurt, because the stickiness would help the cuts close up.
Stick all of the smaller post-its together into a giant meta-post-it. Stick that post-it to the front of your office, entirely obscuring the front of the building. Write "We are out of post-its" on the note.
The only thing I ever learned to make with origami was a pinwheel. Maybe I could put 3,000 pinwheels together and aim them at the bay. Instant sailing weather even when it's calm out!
Write "bill" on each one and stick them all over anything that says "post no bills"?
Carefully stick all post its together into giant post-it blanket so that one side is 100% sticky. Use to de-cat-fur entire rooms at one go.
Alternately, coat the cats with post-its to reduce shedding.
Remove the brown end-sheet from the back of each post-it pack. Stick the pack to each other to form 3000-page mega-pack. Draw little pictures on each one to form feature-length flip-book.
Since you didn't like the studio version, may I suggest doing your own version of That Yellow Bastard?
Oh, perfect. Then with the rest of the post-its, I can do That Pink Bastard, That Blue Bastard, and That Lime Green Bastard.
Forget Christo's The Gates, think Dianna's The Post-Its
Label things. Start with desktop items like my clock, my picture of Jacob, my stapler, the telephone, my teacup and the candy jar. Discreetly move on to labelling the floor, my desk, and the bookshelf. Hide labels saying "wall" behind furniture or above eye level. Label the boss's desk while he's out. Walk calmly around the office wearing post-its marked "leg", "shirt", "left hand" and "elbow" -- placed accordingly, of course. Approach co-workers, label them with their names, and then run.
Label everything, but label it, "Mine."