November 21, 2005
On my voicemail this morning.
"This is a--"
"--zeitgeist. I need you to call me as soon as you get a chance, because your mother has fallen under the wagon and she needs to be removed with the Jaws of Life. If you do not return--"
I swear to fucking Christ I'm not making this up.
Posted by dianna at November 21, 2005 03:58 PM
It must have been when Pa was taking Ma by wagon to go be buried with her people in Jefferson and the bridge was warshed out and the horses slid into the river and the wagon rolled and Ma came out in her coffin with the air holes in it and wedged under the wagon and all of Cash's tools come up floating to the surface and his leg was broke.
No wait, that's a Faulkner novel. My mistake.
Zeitgeist? Because wagon travel reflects the spirit of our age?
Was this on your cell phone, or at work? Maybe they were wondering if you guys could design some sort of building to prop up the wagon?
if she was at zeitgeist, maybe she fell *off* the wagon? and perhaps where you heard "jaws of life," the caller was actually saying "jaws of the demon rum."
please to god tell me you called them back.
yeah, where's the follow-up?
I can't follow up! I don't have their phone number! If they left it, it was static-static-static, static-static-static-static. Our voicemail system doesn't seem to have the see-originating-number feature.
*sigh* I thought maybe it was for someone in my office after all, so I emailed everyone to ask if any of them recognized it as something that one of their friends might say. The only response I got was, "very sick."
My only guess would be some sort of viral marketing thing, like that whole "I Love Bees" thing they did a while back to promote Halo 2. Maybe someone participating in a big follow-the-clues, be-at-this-corner-at-6:02-and-answer-the-payphone sort of things accidentally gave them the wrong phone number.
If this is like "I love bees," does it mean it has to go on the list on the fridge?
Yes, although perhaps a general category of Incomprehensible Riddles should be used instead. In order to save space we've had to sacrifice some specificity and put up super-entries like Quantum Mechanics and Anything About Computers.
Come to think of it, those last two pretty much fall under the heading of Incomprehensible Riddles anyway.