February 01, 2008

Vaguely antisocial things to do during lunchtime meetings.

  • Enthusiastically eat a large, juicy blood orange. Occasionally look up with your hands and mouth covered in bright red juice and give the speaker a look of intense attention.
  • Enjoy a large stack of extremely crunchy cookies. Do your loudest crunching over the quietest speakers.
  • Bring an elaborate multi-course lunch and an actual place setting for yourself. Spread out a cloth napkin, serve yourself properly, and eat with a knife and fork. Give all speakers your polite attention but be buttering rolls, pouring gravy, and carefully picking up peas all the while.
  • Make alarming combination choices. Allow people to wonder what your pickles with strawberry jam actually taste like.
  • Hold carrot sticks poised over a piece of paper as though about to take notes. Bonus points if you stick one behind your ear.
  • Chew slowly, distractedly, on large whole leaves of obscure greens. For maximum effect, have large, dewy eyes and a side-to-side chewing motion.
  • Nonchalantly eat a whole cucumber or zucchini without utensils. Probably, actually, not work-appropriate.
  • Others?
Posted by dianna at February 1, 2008 04:03 PM