December 24, 2006

I must not smirk.

My roommate, in conversation with another housemate whom I will identify as the Wine Scion:

Roommate: If I lived by myself my kitchen would be so much cleaner than this.
Wine Scion: For sure.
Roommate: It's so easy. You just clean up as you go and then you don't have all this shit lying around.
Wine Scion: We should have a class, bro. Kitchen Awareness.

Me, walking through the room in the course of making myself breakfast: Not Kitchen Awareness. If you say awareness people will ignore you. You have to kick them in the ass.

Roommate: No, but, see, we're going to have a class and teach them.
Me: That's what I'm saying. You have to teach them forcefully. None of this mindfulness shit. Tell them to fucking clean up after their damn selves.
Roommate, looking nonplussed: I mean, I guess, if you want to put up a sign or something.
Me: No, look, I'm talking about your class. Have your class but you have to be meaner about it.
Roommate, still nonplussed: Uh...
Me: Oh, forget it. We're talking different languages.

(Exeunt Dianna to the next room)

Roommate, to Wine Scion: You know, we shouldn't call it awareness. If we say awareness they'll just ignore us.

Posted by dianna at December 24, 2006 01:26 PM