March 25, 2005
Why are all the secretaries smiling today?
Here's the logic as far as I can figure it out.
- Large orders for office supplies are mostly placed by the secretaries, office managers, and administrative assistants of companies.
- The people holding these positions are, more often than not, female.
- When the shipments of office supplies arrive they are likely to be opened and distributed by the people who ordered them.
- If an office-supply-shipping company sends a free gift as a reward for placing a large order, it will probably end up in the possession of the person who opens the shipment.
- That person, as mentioned in #2 above, is likely to be female.
- If the reward-for-ordering system is going to work, the free gift should be chosen to appeal to the likely recipient.
- Did I mention that the likely recipient is a woman?
And this is why I got a handheld personal massager from Office Depot yesterday.
Posted by dianna at March 25, 2005 09:35 AM
Heh, heavy machinery companies often send out complementary naked-lady calendars to their clients. I guess this is the female-oriented version of the same sales tactic.
Hooray for our sex-obsessed consumer society!
i ordered supplies for a year (but for a smaller company) and never got anything that nice. the best i think i got was a staples key chain. i may still have it--do you want it?
That still doesn't explain why Staples sent us a butt plug this morning.
When I was a paralegal the free shit I got was inevitably nut-filled foodstuffs of some sort. Curse you, office suppliers!
Marina, the personal massager is not actually all that nice. It makes a noise like a vacuum cleaner and doesn't vibrate all that much, but for its one saving grace, it's shaped like a sci-fi ray gun. I'm still waiting for the perfect punchline to occur to me, but I think it's going to be something about blowing us all to kingdom come.