Bipbop.

This is insufferable music nerdery, but I have to ask. Does this:

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick

Sound kinda like this:

Yeah I lay down a while
And I look at my hotel wall
And I'm phoning a cab
'Cause my stomach feels small
There's a taste in my mouth
And it's no taste at all

To anyone else? I guess there are only so many song lyrics you can write about "so and so is getting on so and so instead of on me" before they start to sound similar. But I could totally see the Killers being David Bowie fans -- it's in the gospel-chorus backing vocals. I'm just as glad they didn't try to include the part about the bipperty-bopperty hat, though. I mean, bipperty-bopperty? Hello, 1970? Your slang called; it wants a ride back home.

Motherfuck.

9:30 Friday night, just settling down in bed to watch Good Night and Good Luck in my underwear... and it occurs to me that I think I left my foot heater on at work.

You know, the foot heater I'm not supposed to have? The kind of old funky one that I don't trust to have any kind of auto-off function?

The one I really, really should not trust not to burn down my office overnight?

• Option A: get out of bed, put pants on, take train downtown, walk to campus, let self into empty building, unplug heater, come all the way back.
• Option B: call campus security and ask them to turn it off, get in trouble for having foot heater which is strictly disallowed in case I, for instance, leave it on on a Friday night after I've gone home.
• Option C: leave it until tomorrow and spend all night having nightmares about burning down the graduate school.

Look out honey 'cause I'm using technology.

The technology I am using is called 2nd Avenue Records, and I have only just learned how to use it. It took a tutorial.

See, most music stores that I have shopped in have worked something like: music is out lying around in some kind of order, and you poke around until you find what you want. Self-serve. This generally suits me perfectly, because I have a pathological aversion to telling record store employees what I am looking for. It doesn't seem to matter whether I'm looking for something impressively cool or something totally embarrassing; I don't want anyone to know what it is until I have it in my hand. But 2nd Avenue Records doesn't give a damn about my neuroses, and, weirdly, I love them for it.

2nd Avenue Records is a glorious, wonderful, tiny independent music store that specializes in metal and hardcore but also has stuff that the Not That Hardcore populace wants to listen to. It's a tiny, tiny retail space stacked to the rafters with CDs and LPs. Did I mention it's tiny? I walked past yesterday and didn't believe it was a record store because it didn't take up half a block, and when I got inside I had a hard time figuring out where to step that wasn't taken up by various shit. I checked my bag in and was trying to browse discreetly among the mess, when an aging punk dude who may well have been the proprietor pointed out helpfully that that wasn't going to work. See, the LPs are all out in big racks like in a normal store, but the CDs are for some reason contained in a massive pile of boxes behind the counter. You have to tell them, "dude I gotta get a copy of Raw Power," and they'll drag out a shoebox or vodka case or something that says STOOGES in Sharpie on one side, and dump it on the counter in front of you and let you flip through it. And the shoebox or vodka case or whatever contains wonders unknown that even the other, hugely massive, local independent record stores don't have, and many of them are used and cheap and after a few minutes of agonizing decision you hand over 20 bucks and walk out with two CDs. Also, they're on your way home from work, which totally rules.

I'm in love with this whole business model. It's so outrageously old-fashioned: you go to a shop which is run by people who know what the fuck they're talking about, and you tell them what it is that you want and they understand and help you find it in the most useful, i.e. cheap, way possible. I love that this kind of knowledgeable, personal customer service exists only in the form of the scruffy, tattooed punk dudes at the tiny crappy crowded metal-and-hardcore record store. It strikes me as the kind of thing that makes corporate image consultants -- the kind who write customer service scripts that tell you how many times to use the customer's name and which places to smile and how much tasteful jewelry is allowed at the front counter -- put their heads in their nicely-groomed hands and cry.

I also love that it allowed me to sit at my desk today, in the full carnival of the second day of the term with everybody confused and frantic, listening to Iggy Pop made very small inside my speakers but nonetheless screaming at the top of his lungs. I can't begin to tell you how soothing it was. It's much easier to smile politely at a lot of people with identical frustrating problems when you have a tiny, tinny helper telling them all that their collective pretty face is going to hell. Even if they can't quite hear it, I know. I'm sorry, sir, what was that? Please excuse my associate; he's on drugs and has no social skills and is probably emotionally disturbed. I'd be happy to help you get into your classes.

The fact that my shrieking audio assistant and I were both at our desk until 7 pm today makes it incredibly likely that I will need to go back to 2nd Avenue Records before the week is out. It's only Tuesday and this is a short album, but if I can find one more that's as good I think I can get through at least Thursday. Maybe by Friday I'll just walk into the shop and ask the helpful scruffy punk dude if he can come to work with me for a few minutes and scream at people in person. I think that would keep requests for my help to a bare minimum for the next year at least.

Gotta make way for the Homo superior.

For shame, The Oregonian. For shame.

We have an article about a major step being taken by Oregon colleges willing to try out non-gender-strict dorm assignments, and all we can fucking talk about is how now straight couples get to live together. Because, you know, the queer students have really had an unfair advantage up to now under strict gender-segregated dorm arrangements. If you read to the end of the article someone actually fucking says so with a, haha, straight face. THANK GOD WE'VE STOPPED DISCRIMINATING AGAINST THE HETEROS.

It's not that there's anything particularly wrong with straight couples living together in college dorms -- I mean, it's a stupid idea for a shit-ton of reasons, but it's an equally stupid idea for straight couples and queer couples. So, sure, let 'em all give it a shot if they want to and they'll figure it out somehow.

No, my problem is that the article gives the barest mention to, oh, that tiny little aspect that has to do with making respectful and reasonable accommodations for students who are actually uncomfortable with or threatened by gender-segregated dorm arrangements. Honestly, who the fuck do they think pushed for gender-neutral dorms in the first place? Straight couples who couldn't bear to be separated? I fucking doubt it. A tiny handful of queer and trans kids who already spent their high school years fighting with their school administration over things like campus bathrooms? Probably. How much metaphorical or literal balls does it take to move on to college and keep fighting about it? Lots. How awesome is it that it's working? Awesome. How much recognition is that getting? Crickets. Tumbleweeds. Bleached cattle skulls and far-off lonely cowboy harmonica. None, is what I'm trying to say.

I've tried fighting automatically-gender-segregated living arrangements myself. I've tried it on two occasions I can think of, and both times I was in a totally comfy and privileged position compared to, say, your hypothetical 18-year-old transgender kid whose automatically-assigned "same sex" roommate is going to freak out and reject him or her utterly. Me, I was just in it for my own comfort and the principle of the thing. On one of the two occasions I fucked up the whole Kingman room-bid process and royally pissed off the house manager and did eventually win, but on the other -- in Ithaca, where my field-school director decided that male and female students would live in different houses -- I lost utterly. For six weeks that happened to correspond with my androgynous gender-freakout phase and wearing baggy boy jeans and boxers and chest-flattening sportsbras at all times, I lived in the fucking metaphorical red tent surrounded by girly girls who wore makeup and jewelry even while doing fieldwork. I'm pretty sure that they shared my conviction that if we had anything whatsoever in common it was sure as hell not related to gender. Then I imagine that instead of six weeks it's all year, and instead of being 25 I'm an impressionable college freshman, and gosh, this gender-inclusive dorm option is really going to be an enormous relief to some people.

So obviously that's why the headline needs to be "Oregon colleges allow couples to be roommates." For fuck's sake, The Oregonian. Really.

Plus two, carry the one, minus five, zap fraggle error redo from start.

I have a tendency to keep score, in my head, of the fair-to-unfair balance of my personal universe at any given time. The scoresheet exists for one reason, and that is to help me justify doing or getting extravagant nice things for myself. These things are usually somewhat out of proportion to the unfairnesses that they're intended to remedy: I have just stubbed my toe so terribly that I need a big stack of new books to read while I lie in bed waiting for it to heal. I'm sad that it's cold out, so I need to eat this entire cake to make myself feel better. A five-page paper?! How dare they? Nothing but lots of stripey socks will make this okay! You get the idea.

Once in a while something like Fiasco Week will come along and tip the balance so far in one direction that it's not really possible to equalize, so I'll give up for a while and start keeping score again when things have settled back down. That is not what happened this weekend. What happened this weekend was that fair and unfair succeeded each other in such dizzying and contradictory oscillations that I've actually lost track.

See, I spent Friday being capital-G good. It was the last day of Spring Break and I was here at work doing things which weren't technically my responsibility but which saved other people from various terrible fates. I did paperwork for the faculty so that students' graduation wouldn't be held up. I intervened between the graduate studies office and students who were about to lose their jobs over grading errors. By the end of the day I deserved a damn halo, and what I got instead was looking in the mirror on the way home and discovering that one of my absolute favorite wood plugs had fallen out of my earlobe. I scoured the building to no avail; it was gone. To restore my faith in the justice of the universe, I bought myself a pair of beautiful swirly green glass ear danglies and went to my local music store to find some cheering music. The fact that I couldn't find an acceptable copy of the album I absolutely had to have warranted the additional restorative measure of having an enormous pecan sticky bun for dinner and going home to watch movies.

This is where it got weird. I found my missing plug in my bed, where it had fallen out the night before and I just hadn't noticed. So, okay, all of my justification for the new jewelry and music -- and therefore the sticky bun dinner -- evaporated. I spent the rest of the weekend being good; I even did my taxes like a responsible citizen even though my mid-year move made them, frankly, a bitch. I thought that warranted trying another record store for the elusive album (Hunky Dory, if you were wondering), but 2nd Avenue Records was closed and I came home freezing and empty-handed. At roughly this point my beloved sister called me for help with her bewilderingly fucked-up blog, and I did my technologically-limited best to help unfuck it. When we hung up after some limited success, I hopped in the shower and in so doing dropped one of my new, beautiful, fragile glass ear swirlies on the nice hard bathroom floor.

Since it's Monday morning, people keep asking me how my weekend was. So far all I've really been able to do is give them confused looks and reach for a pencil and paper to try to calculate the answer.

Degrees of separation between the revolution and me: three.

Bet you didn't know there even were degrees of separation between the revolution and me. Not because the revolution and I are inseparable, but because you can't have degrees of separation when things are simply utterly unconnected. Me, I am a child of the corporate 80s and complacent 90s and if I am a revolutionary, well, then my mom's a revolutionary, and she's not.

Still.

I just finished watching the excellent documentary The Weather Underground, about, yes, the Weather Underground. It was quite good. It blew my mind slightly: I grew up thinking of nearly everything that the 60s and 70s produced as out of touch, ineffectual, irrelevant, and ludicrous. Which is not to say that the Weathermen may not have been out of touch or ineffectual -- that's somewhat beyond me to say -- but I don't now have the impression they were irrelevant or ludicrous. [Edit: if it looks like I have rearranged my adjectives, that is because, on careful consideration, I have.] That they had clear and resolute ideas about what was going on around them, that they saw themselves not as an idealistic fluke but as simply the first to choose sides in an actual revolution that was actually supposed to happen, was to me a total shock. That surprise right there, that's the 80s talking. But this is not the point.

The point is that, in the credits of this excellent documentary, the film's creators thanked someone who just sent me a letter.

Weather Underground, organization
to
Weather Underground, documentary
to
Vanessa Renwick, filmmaker, Oregon Department of Kick Ass
to
My desk. Observe.

I periodically Google "wear your fucking helmet" to see if anyone has started talking about my stickers yet, and in six months the internet has given me exactly one mention. It popped up some time ago, and, with all the enthusiasm of a person who believes she's gotten her first mention of many instead of her first and only, I Googled the commenter, tracked her to her awesomely-named independent filmmaking enterprise, and mailed her a sticker. Between then and now she replied, sending me a nice thank-you note on awesome stationery with a sticker of her own (I'm still deciding what to do with it).

There you go: my credentials neatly arranged in a single frame. I'd say "let me show you my credentials" if I didn't think it sounded dirty. And now, if you'll excuse me, this nearly-being-connected-to-the-revolution is exhausting; I need to eat a bagel and go to bed.

Poor deluded creature.

I went out last night with my sister's Delightful Former Housemate (DFH for short), who is in town for an obscure classics conference I couldn't possibly comprehend less. We took a stroll through Powell's and then I dragged him across the river for dinner at a place that has probably by now been scientifically proven to be the best restaurant in the world. It's called Nutshell, for the record, although if you ask my sister she will tell you it is called either Nutsack or Sasquatch. No matter.

The thing about Nutshell is that it is a nice restaurant. It's quite nice. It's a lovely space with small attractive tables that have little candles on them, and I was there with someone whose company I find excruciatingly enjoyable. The DFH's title is not an honorarium; he is just exactly as delightful a former housemate as one could hope to find. He's also gay, which is at this point quite well-established and not that difficult to notice. For instance, the story he was telling me about how he managed to re-break his boyfriend's foot in the bathtub was a dead giveaway.

About halfway through dinner I realized this: I was sitting across a small candlelit table from the DFH, demonstrating my tendency when in the presence of delightful people to lean forward and watch them raptly as they relate adorable stories of tragic mishaps. Oh, and the DFH is a nice Southern boy with nice Southern manners who politely refilled my water glass any number of times and invited me to try various parts of his meal. I did so with gusto, because everything was fucking amazingly delicious. So enthralled conversation, sharing of food, refilling of glasses and, indeed, the DFH delightfully paid for my dinner. We looked like a perfectly plausible date if not for the fact that, you know, gay. I imagined the waiters eyeing us and raising eyebrows. That poor girl, they thought. Doesn't she know??? Maybe she's just hoping, you know. He seems like such a nice boy.

I'm sure the bathtub thing was just a, a, friendly misunderstanding, anyway.

New rule.

When my sister tells me to watch a movie, I run, I do not walk, to the video store and I watch it. First she was right about Hedwig, and now this? After taking ten years to get around to seeing Velvet Goldmine, I am thanking god for giving us DVD so I can see it again without waiting for rewind.

Katie, if you're hiding any other gorgeous, dysfunctional, glitteringly homoerotic rock-and-roll love stories up your sleeves, I'd like to know. Thanks.

Missed connection: my somatic awareness and your municipal myth.

I can't describe to you the weirdness of the Portland Allergy Cult. Actually, I can: you know how Inglis, Florida banned Satan from its city limits? Portland has, by overwhelming popular agreement, banned rhinovirus. There is no such thing as a cold here, as you will find if you make the mistake of saying aloud that you have one. No, if you are unwell in the city of Portland, by definition, whatever the evidence, what you have is allergies.

Really? you might ask. What if it started with a sore throat and overnight turned into acute sinus congestion that feels exactly like every single head cold I have ever had in the state of California?

Your Portland listener will nod sagely. That's allergies. That sore throat? That's the allergies hitting.

It's about here that I start getting the narrowed Dianna-does-not-think-much-of-your-listening-skills eyes. Now, look, I say (as I did today), I must propose an alternate explanation here. Because, see, I'm stressed about finals and I've been missing sleep this whole last week and I'm pretty sure my immune system is not up to snuff right now.

More sage nods ensue. That's just when the allergies will hit you! says the interchangeable Portlander.

I try again. Fine. Maybe? Whatever. But that's also when viruses hit you. As they generally have done in my experience.

At this point another person in hearing range chimed in to suggest that everyone develops allergies when they move to Portland and that even though I may not know I have them yet, they're probably the problem.

If I'm recalling correctly through the fog of acute sinus symptoms that compose what, where I come from, we call a cold, I think my original listener at this point said something like, "You'll see. It's allergies." I was so floored that I actually let it go, because I couldn't begin to imagine how an entire city could become so resistant to the idea of a virus that it actually goes around telling people with confidence and assumed authority that there is just no way they are correct in their self-assessment of their illness.

I can't remember the point I was trying to make here, probably because my COLD is making it hard for me to concentrate. I mean, I'm actively working on listening to other people's suggestions and not necessarily taking my own assumptions as gospel truth quite as often as I'd like to, but there are some times when I simply must take a stand. In my nearly 27 years on this earth I've interfaced with the common cold more times than anyone else I know except my equally sickly sister, and by god I know how it works. I'm a damned snot expert by now. Questions? Just pick up the phone and call your local Dianna. Or, at the bobent, Diadda.

Fun? fact brought to you by my damn NAGPRA paper, still, for fuck's sake.

While reading about the repatriation of some skeletons rudely removed from an Alaska Native village in the 1930s, I came across a quote from one Douglas Preston, former manager of the department of publications for the American Museum of Natural History. I thought, hah, that's funny, he has the same name as the dude who wrote that totally egregious primitive-monster-as-modern-day-slasher novel Relic. How embarrassing for this guy that someone with his name is going around writing books about murderous monsters living in natural history museum exhibits. What are the odds?

Pretty good, apparently, as they're the same person. (And one of his brothers is Richard Preston, who wrote that very serious and not at all sensationalized no no we are scientists here Ebola book The Hot Zone. What did their parents do to turn all of their kids into cheesy thriller writers?)

I simply cannot believe that Mr. Preston's former colleagues at the Museum of Natural History were anything but embarrassed when this book started showing up in the stores with its lurid gold letters and menacing claw cover. It would be like finding your old Women's Studies professor's name all over one of those splashy romance novels with roses and billowing skirts if not actual heaving bosoms. You'd have to buy the thing in the hopes that it would be better than it looked and might even redeem your colleague, but then you'd read it while cringing with one hand over your eyes and if you ever saw the author again it would just be Awkward City.
"I, uh, saw your book the other day..."
"Great! What'd you think?"
"Oh, it was really interesting."
"Hey, I'm glad you think so!"
"Yeah, the way you totally abandoned good taste and your academic credibility was absolutely fascinating. Gosh, look at the time, I'd better be going. Nice to see you!"

More Entries

Bipbop. - April 07, 2008
Motherfuck. - April 04, 2008
Look out honey 'cause I'm using technology. - April 01, 2008
Gotta make way for the Homo superior. - April 01, 2008
Plus two, carry the one, minus five, zap fraggle error redo from start. - March 31, 2008
Degrees of separation between the revolution and me: three. - March 29, 2008
Poor deluded creature. - March 27, 2008
New rule. - March 23, 2008
Missed connection: my somatic awareness and your municipal myth. - March 19, 2008
Fun? fact brought to you by my damn NAGPRA paper, still, for fuck's sake. - March 18, 2008
Begorra! - March 17, 2008
Conceding defeat. - March 16, 2008
Six degrees - iTunes version. - March 10, 2008
Soul Train. - March 10, 2008
My kabuki is now so skillful it's entirely out of my control. - March 08, 2008
Viral. - March 07, 2008
Comparative reviews: These boots, which are made for walking, VS. others which are not. - March 07, 2008
Dude! - March 06, 2008
Now hit this part with a hammer until it comes off. - March 05, 2008
Love nor money. - March 01, 2008
People have been telling me for seven years that I absolutely must watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch. - February 28, 2008
This entry brought to you by contraband tomato plants in my bedroom. Seriously. - February 25, 2008
Omgwtflolbbqeggponies! - February 21, 2008
Stupid rooster tricks. - February 18, 2008
It's three days to Valentine's Day, and Dianna is drawing hearts that say.... - February 11, 2008
Asparaguys. - February 10, 2008
Suckered by the internet. - February 09, 2008
Sinister lions and spherical chickens. - February 09, 2008
I'm not an artist. I just like to draw shit. - February 07, 2008
Chard is love. Let it into your heart. - February 07, 2008
Things to do when an anthropology paper is due tomorrow. - February 03, 2008
PhoPo: Complete and total bullshit. - February 02, 2008
Mind your own business. - February 01, 2008
Vaguely antisocial things to do during lunchtime meetings. - February 01, 2008
The slightly deranged vegan chef presents: Wait, What? - January 31, 2008
Wait, was I always incurably weird? - January 27, 2008
Vegan FST* - January 25, 2008
Never be warm again. - January 24, 2008
Ab-sense. - January 20, 2008
Swing and a miss. - January 13, 2008
No it's not. Yes she is! Fuck you! - January 08, 2008
Pray god I am not too soon! - January 07, 2008
Painlessly? - January 04, 2008
NYE. - December 31, 2007
Hello, moon friend. Let's have a moonversation. - December 31, 2007
Recipe day! - December 30, 2007
The five-percent nation of numerical disadvantage. - December 29, 2007
The repository of comf. - December 27, 2007
Longest shortest day of the year. - December 26, 2007
Fog. - December 21, 2007
Fum, fum, fum. - December 20, 2007
Fuck the silver and black. - December 17, 2007
One week. - December 11, 2007
Worked up. - December 11, 2007
Mitt Romney is reading my mind. - December 07, 2007
Inclementine. - December 05, 2007
Internet heroism. - December 03, 2007
When I argue with my screen I gesture as though it can hear me. - December 02, 2007
So my vacation in Oregon is over now, right? - December 02, 2007
Asterisk shaking fist asterisk. - November 30, 2007
In which Dianna vaguely resembles your grandmother. - November 25, 2007
Fuck Cranberry Sauce, Or, Dianna's Recipe For The Most Delicious After-Thanksgiving Breakfast Ever. - November 23, 2007
The yak. - November 20, 2007
Will one of you please talk about something besides bicycles? - November 19, 2007
Meat gift. - November 16, 2007
Taker-onners and taker-downers. - November 14, 2007
I really thought pr0n would be more fun than this. - November 12, 2007
Charismatic megafauna! - November 10, 2007
Fucking, hell. - November 09, 2007
Hey stranger. - November 08, 2007
From the Oregon Department of Ghostly Glows - November 06, 2007
Is it that time of the decade again? - November 03, 2007
PhoPo: Photoblogging Portland #1. - November 02, 2007
No beauty, only beast. - November 01, 2007
Now, in color! - October 30, 2007
And I will show you things, boy, such far-away dreams. - October 29, 2007
Scattergorey. - October 25, 2007
Belabor. - October 24, 2007
Attention Portland large-vehicle operators - October 23, 2007
Here in Spain I am a Spaniard. - October 19, 2007
I made a friend! - October 17, 2007
Wawful. - October 16, 2007
I break (4) math. - October 15, 2007
Gulo gulo. - October 11, 2007
Dial 10-10-321 (for birthdays) - October 10, 2007
Shiverfreezing coldwet. - October 07, 2007
Ma'am, did you lose a morning? 'Cause this one isn't mine. - October 05, 2007
Why I need to go to grad school. - October 04, 2007
Comparative reviews: someone else's lyrical boner is always bigger than yours. - October 03, 2007
Omgsoft. - October 02, 2007
Addendum - October 01, 2007
Balls off up in this piece. - October 01, 2007
I accuse Dianna, in the dining room, with the roll of stickyback mylar. - September 29, 2007
Portland: people who aren't from here bitching about people who aren't from here. - September 27, 2007
Oh, fuck, she's reading Sylvia Plath again. - September 23, 2007
Weekend highlights: salad with strangers. - September 17, 2007
Monday morning. - September 17, 2007
I almost died last night and all I got was this tiny bruise. - September 16, 2007
I see. Portland is not for cookies. - September 11, 2007
Holy fuck! - September 10, 2007
Highly enjoyable! Do again! - September 08, 2007
When you can't buy a break. - September 07, 2007
Standard. - September 06, 2007
I got souuul but I'm not a soldier. - August 31, 2007
It is dark. It is dark. - August 29, 2007
Monday special feature: Fallacy of the Day! - August 27, 2007
Let's try that last one again, or, Why I May Never Drink In This Town After This. - August 26, 2007
I've always depended on the kindness of strangers with facial hair. - August 26, 2007
I have always said you cannot trust tiny, maternal, well-dressed Texan women! - August 21, 2007
Naturally. - August 20, 2007
Yang. - August 18, 2007
A really good question. - August 12, 2007
Friday afternoon. - August 10, 2007
Puddleglum. - August 08, 2007
This is kind of my life now. - August 05, 2007
Friday night. - August 03, 2007
You push the pedals and it goes forward? - July 29, 2007
I'm lame! Wait, I'm cool! No, wait, I'm lame! - July 28, 2007
Hallows or Horcruxes? - July 22, 2007
Fever dream. - July 20, 2007
In the future, technology will be used to educate. - July 17, 2007
A partial list of things in my new house that are built in. - July 15, 2007
Snoqualmie, now located 629 miles closer to Snoqualmie. - July 12, 2007
Hopeless bleak despair. - July 10, 2007
Father taught us boundaries, the knowledge we must go. - July 09, 2007
Are you panicking yet? Yes, yes I am. - July 08, 2007
www.iamahighlysuggestibleperson.com - July 07, 2007
Damn, it doesn't feel good not to be a gangsta. - July 06, 2007
DIKY: Do It Kinda Yourself. - July 03, 2007
The official FAQ. - June 26, 2007
Take another little piece of my leaf, now, baby. - June 26, 2007
Hous'd - June 24, 2007
My weekend in cliches. - June 24, 2007
Shaweet! - June 23, 2007
You want to sprinkle salt on that motherfucker and eat it. - June 21, 2007
To the person who invented the "overseas roommate" scam currently sweeping Portland Craigslist: - June 20, 2007
Hey, little apple blossom, what seems to be the problem? - June 19, 2007
It's that kind of day. - June 18, 2007
The difference between the post you write before you check your email and the post you write after. - June 11, 2007
Backspace. - June 09, 2007
Isa Chandra Moskowitz is my hero. - June 03, 2007
What? You're coming through all fuzzy! - May 31, 2007
Today's weather is: suck, with occasional glum. - May 31, 2007
Five Nines is overrated. - May 30, 2007
I get a gold star for good citizenship! - May 29, 2007
Happy Tofu sounds like the name of a Chinese restaurant. - May 24, 2007
Now, with scare quotes! - May 24, 2007
The categorical imperative. - May 22, 2007
Sometimes I long to be landlocked, and to work in a bakery. - May 20, 2007
The evil midnight modifier what modifies at midnight. - May 18, 2007
PEA! - May 15, 2007
Box labels generated so far by my packing process. - May 15, 2007
The squeaky wheel actually has whiskers. - May 13, 2007
Strange, but sincere, offer. - April 29, 2007
Clever title dump. - April 29, 2007
Strangely vindicated. - April 28, 2007
Veggies make you, frankly, mostly sad. - April 27, 2007
I don't know about you, but MY mother was a Chinese trapeze artist. - April 25, 2007
ZOMBIES FOR REAGAN! - April 22, 2007
Leafing well enough alone. - April 22, 2007
Gluing tinsel to your crown. - April 20, 2007
Quick question. - April 19, 2007
Great Dane. - April 19, 2007
My head's like a kite. - April 19, 2007
Art porn (sorry Gene) - April 17, 2007
Special. - April 14, 2007
Doglution. - April 12, 2007
Denticuli, denticulae - April 11, 2007
The beet generation. - April 10, 2007
Blog, blag, bl'egg. - April 08, 2007
Im in ur base, killin ur m00ds. - April 06, 2007
Dance magic dance. - April 06, 2007
They buy me all these icees. - April 04, 2007
That mythical creature known as being in the moment. - April 03, 2007
Haven't seen you in ages, but it's not as bleak as it seems. - March 29, 2007
I'll be post-punk in the post-establishment. - March 28, 2007
I AM FUCKING ADORABLE. - March 25, 2007
The grumpy feminist weekly reader. - March 21, 2007
Let sleeping dogs lion. - March 20, 2007
And if you're not mine, well, that's just fine. - March 20, 2007
One finger parallel to the sky*. - March 18, 2007
By popular* demand part 2: the hummus recipe you've been waiting for. - March 14, 2007
By popular* demand part 1: the milk dispenser scene. - March 14, 2007
The pants say take better care of yourself. - March 14, 2007
Son of a bigger gun. - March 12, 2007
City on the river. - March 08, 2007
Lessons - March 06, 2007
Oh my god! She's got a spnife! - March 06, 2007
Decatur, or, A Round Of Applause For Your Grandmother. - March 05, 2007
Jag ar sjuk. - March 03, 2007
Quick question. - March 02, 2007
Cool cherry cream and a nice apple tart, feel your taste all the time we're apart. - February 28, 2007
A yak is a wish your heart makes. - February 28, 2007
Holy fucking shit. - February 27, 2007
Ominous mulberry! - February 27, 2007
Your Sunday night tragic realization - February 26, 2007
Okay, okay, I get it. - February 20, 2007
How do you sign "screw this"? - February 12, 2007
I am l33t as fuck! - February 10, 2007
Old slang. - February 09, 2007
Tell the tale of the Jewess and the Mandarin Chinese boy. - February 05, 2007
My cat's dysfunctional relationships. - January 28, 2007
Afternoons and coffee forks. - January 27, 2007
A priori obligationi. - January 25, 2007
Ender's game is apparently "Doctor". - January 25, 2007
Lessons from my bookshelf. - January 20, 2007
Your two-line character sketch for today. - January 20, 2007
Can't speak. Must hyperventilate. - January 08, 2007
The sultan's lack of energy. - January 07, 2007
You want to hear about frustrating? - January 07, 2007
From the history files: 2002 sucked. - January 05, 2007
I must not smirk. - December 24, 2006
Look ma! - December 19, 2006
In other news, inanimate objects become co-dependent. - December 15, 2006
Mixed. - December 13, 2006
Kids these days! With their hair! And their clothes! - December 12, 2006
Let it come down. - December 09, 2006
Up down up down up down up up down down left right left right select start. - December 06, 2006
Paper paper paper. Paper papery paper paper. - December 06, 2006
Everything hits at once. - December 04, 2006
Negotiating for loose artillery. - December 02, 2006
I worry sometimes. - November 22, 2006
Six teacups full of honey - November 17, 2006
Scenes from my brain part 4237823. - November 07, 2006
Ton of bricks. - November 07, 2006
Co-opers do it in costume. - November 04, 2006
Sometimes I think I'm bipolar. Other times I think I'm fine. - November 02, 2006
At the quarter-century mark we feel the need to turn back the clock. - October 31, 2006
The proverbial clam. - October 27, 2006
Guards! - October 25, 2006
Dianna! Why are you researching stone tools instead of reading fantasy books? - October 19, 2006
The dark underbelly of the co-op system - October 19, 2006
Taekwondo test haiku - October 12, 2006
An emotional attachment to robust australopithecines. - October 07, 2006
His Majesty's love palace - October 02, 2006
Oh no, she didn't. No. Really. Tell me she didn't. - September 28, 2006
You scoundrel! I'm not the kind of girl you spread chocolate on! - September 24, 2006
Cheat cheat. - September 18, 2006
Pity please with sugar on top. - September 15, 2006
Good news for people who love good news. - September 12, 2006
A quick question. - September 04, 2006
On the fucking-up of my program, yo. - August 31, 2006
Let no one tell you there is not a typical co-oper. - August 29, 2006
The solitary vice. - August 27, 2006
Ointment reading. - August 21, 2006
Au contraire! - August 17, 2006
Musical notes. - August 16, 2006
Supplicat-ion. - August 15, 2006
Invention of the week: the correspondence chess correspondence chessboard. - August 11, 2006
Stratergories. - August 01, 2006
I'm back in the bay area! Let's blog about bicycles! - July 29, 2006
Speaking from beyond the... corn. - July 09, 2006
This is going to be the fastest blog entry ever. - June 25, 2006
Going, going. - June 11, 2006
Saturday cat blogging. - June 10, 2006
Well, that's interesting. - June 08, 2006
I wonder if this is actually a good idea. - June 07, 2006
Torn between outrage and hilarity. - June 06, 2006
Army Corps of Engineers, where are you? - May 31, 2006
I'm just full of bad ideas this week. - May 28, 2006
No value added, but then, none needed. - May 26, 2006
Oh hell. - May 26, 2006
East Coasters, help me out. - May 25, 2006
Ladies! Why? - May 24, 2006
Exiled from the internet. - May 23, 2006
He pants she pants - May 18, 2006
It's actually a pretty good time for a blog post, yeah. - May 15, 2006
This is obviously the best time for a blog post. - May 14, 2006
It's time now for Obvious Hour. - May 11, 2006
You said that irony was the shackles of youth. - May 10, 2006
Crab if you wanna. - May 09, 2006
Question of the day, May 7, 2006: - May 07, 2006
Dianna, 1. Does the rest of the score even matter? - May 05, 2006
Is there an E in mosquitos? Eeee! - May 04, 2006
I am a believer! - May 02, 2006
Vantastic. - April 29, 2006
That raises a boring question: phobias - April 25, 2006
Current mood: sunshine and daisies. - April 24, 2006
Slow the fuck down part III. - April 23, 2006
Goddamn my LGBT Studies instructor. - April 23, 2006
A slightly belated work story. - April 22, 2006
Ruminance. - April 20, 2006
Waking the dragons. - April 18, 2006
Huh. More grey hairs? - April 12, 2006
Don't you say a word unless you're pretty sure that you want it analyzed. - April 11, 2006
She's a total blam blam! - April 10, 2006
The funny square hat protects you from the sun. - April 04, 2006
The girl is crafty like ice is cold. - March 28, 2006
Son, you're still young, and you always jump the gun. - March 24, 2006
But sir I really must protest. - March 21, 2006
Objection = death. - March 14, 2006
In late Pleistocene, marine environment finds you! - March 14, 2006
Panic hardware - March 10, 2006
Candy from strangers, or bread from Diannas - March 07, 2006
Yeah. Fine. - March 03, 2006
...cataclysmic? - March 02, 2006
I didn't die at all. - February 28, 2006
New Roses - February 27, 2006
Input overload! Error! Engage overflow valve! - February 24, 2006
Chill. - February 22, 2006
Did someone order a pizza with extra dork? - February 20, 2006
Ladies and gentlemen, the internet. - February 19, 2006
The lap, nay, the very crotch, of luxury. - February 18, 2006
Shifty drifty. - February 15, 2006
Dueling dinners! - February 14, 2006
Fuck you, solvency. Yeah! Fuck you! - February 14, 2006
Made glorious summer by this son of York. - February 08, 2006
Everything hits at once. - February 07, 2006
The benefits of dot-hood. - February 04, 2006
How adornable. - January 30, 2006
I want my life back! - January 30, 2006
Toink. - January 22, 2006
Applique. - January 20, 2006
I'm so hip I even sneer at myself. - January 18, 2006
Best damn idea I've ever heard! - January 16, 2006
We Polked 'em in '44, and we'll Pierce 'em in '06. - January 12, 2006
DAH DAH DAH DAHHHHH. - January 12, 2006
William, this is war. - January 10, 2006
Conversations with myself - January 09, 2006
Always, you bastards. - January 09, 2006
For people who like to watch their mailbox. - January 07, 2006
I promise I'm an archaeology student. - January 04, 2006
The worst idea I've ever had. - December 31, 2005
A tastiness of epic proportions. - December 30, 2005
The Unemployment Diaries - December 28, 2005
Shit. - December 13, 2005
I'm not quite myself. - December 12, 2005
Lord Gloom. - December 08, 2005
Fire that architect! - December 07, 2005
You're not paid to make me think! - December 03, 2005
Stormy weather. - December 01, 2005
I can't do a thing [cue chorus] about the weather. - November 28, 2005
But this is not how my morning is supposed to start! - November 23, 2005
Two quick recommendations. - November 22, 2005
On my voicemail this morning. - November 21, 2005
Clickvrrrrrrrwhumwhumwhumwhumfsssstclickvrrrrrwhum - November 20, 2005
Is it March yet? - November 16, 2005
Po.... bre mio. - November 14, 2005
Men died, women died, children died. But they went. - November 13, 2005
Dancing about architecture - November 11, 2005
They say it's easier to go back. - November 09, 2005
A stranger with your dorky - November 08, 2005
I suppose that is out of context. - November 06, 2005
Upper and lower monkeys. - November 05, 2005
DITCH THIS PARTY. - October 28, 2005
Hyperventilation - October 26, 2005
I guess that's one way to do it. - October 26, 2005
Red Asphalt for suburban pet owners. - October 25, 2005
In the name of all that is holy! - October 24, 2005
And though I'd like to stand by him.... - October 23, 2005
Gato Maulo. - October 22, 2005
Hey, now, hey now now - October 20, 2005
Oh, adhere to me, for we are bound by symmetry - October 13, 2005
Book review: Coming of Age in Samoa - October 13, 2005
Mad science! - October 12, 2005
As watches goooooo, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. - October 11, 2005
I take that back. - October 10, 2005
Oh my god, I don't have to say curried grass anymore. - October 09, 2005
My wife to murder, and Gilder to frame for it. - October 06, 2005
Brown rice and curried sugar - October 04, 2005
Brown rice and curried grass in your hair. - October 03, 2005
See, the water really is scary. - October 02, 2005
Hot holy sweet goddamn! - September 29, 2005
No, really, curried grass. - September 28, 2005
Vvzzzzhhhhh - September 27, 2005
I'm at my desk, but I could be somewhere else if I wanted to. - September 26, 2005
Book review: Digging Up the Past - September 23, 2005
Emotional what? - September 22, 2005
The The Hell With The Sci-Fi Canon Project Project - September 21, 2005
September 20th, 2005: Everything becomes impossible. - September 20, 2005
On a lighter note... - September 20, 2005
Goose steppin'. - September 20, 2005
So you just go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. - September 19, 2005
Call for submissions. - September 17, 2005
Baa-aa-aaaaa-o. - September 16, 2005
Brown rice and curried grass in restaurants. - September 16, 2005
Brown rice and curried grass for dessert. - September 15, 2005
Book review: Portrait of a Burger as a Young Calf. - September 15, 2005
Dude, I got a..aaaaugh! - September 14, 2005
Book review: Ways of Dying - September 13, 2005
He'll find her. That's what he does! That's all he does! - September 12, 2005
Maintenance - September 11, 2005
Death or glory, just another story. - September 09, 2005
In the spirit of scientific inquiry... - September 08, 2005
Well, fsck. - September 07, 2005
You waste my precious seven hours with this? - September 06, 2005
Bobbly bobbly bob. - September 02, 2005
Hello? - August 31, 2005
Book review: The Linguist and the Emperor. - August 29, 2005
They are the shadow lord's lieutenants, and their lives are worth a hundred... a thousand men! - August 27, 2005
Book review: The Ancient Engineers - August 25, 2005
Look at my face when you talk to me. - August 24, 2005
Come a long way baby. - August 23, 2005
Farewell, oh ship of state. - August 22, 2005
Aaaaaugh! - August 18, 2005
Buy a good umbrella. - August 16, 2005
Once upon a time we were made of plastic. - August 15, 2005
Doesn't matter now but I shot him down for everyone to see. - August 11, 2005
That bug bit me! - August 09, 2005
'Ow's that, then? - August 08, 2005
Crawling. - August 05, 2005
Cry for help! - August 03, 2005
Here's the good thing about being a hostile bastard. - August 01, 2005
Small. - July 29, 2005
Anything goes? - July 25, 2005
Po' - July 24, 2005
Ta-da! - July 18, 2005
Linuces - July 15, 2005
My best friend's a butcher, he has sixty knives... - July 14, 2005
I can't have nice semiconductors. - July 11, 2005
What did I say about kicking my butt? - July 09, 2005
Pardon our dust, beeping noises and clumps of hair on the floor. - July 08, 2005
Miss the kiss of tragedy. - July 06, 2005
Play-by-play. - July 05, 2005
Better dead than read. - July 02, 2005
Girl with plastic garden fence in Aisle 6. - July 01, 2005
OMGOMGOMGWTFBBQLOL!!!!!!1 - June 30, 2005
Floor sweepings. - June 29, 2005
Slow down part II. - June 27, 2005
I read this book, see. - June 24, 2005
Grumph. - June 21, 2005
Geek out with your beak out. - June 20, 2005
Enamelajamela. - June 16, 2005
Sikander the Madman. - June 15, 2005
Put a bullet right between your drives. - June 13, 2005
Rubbing off in the company bathroom. - June 08, 2005
Up on a hill, here's where we begin. - June 07, 2005
Does this vine make my butt look big? - June 04, 2005
I caught a unicorn! - June 04, 2005
Please refer back to that Penny Arcade comic again. - June 03, 2005
Spy spy spy spy spy spy spy spyyyyyyyy. - June 02, 2005
Wham! Wham! Wham! - June 02, 2005
Details - June 01, 2005
Wrong wrong wrong. - May 31, 2005
Thank you lord for no balls. - May 30, 2005
A street full of buildings, flat and mostly brown. - May 27, 2005
The sink smells like pee. - May 25, 2005
Can it be? Can it be? - May 25, 2005
Analyze. - May 24, 2005
Why yes, thank you, I do live in Berkeley. - May 21, 2005
Son of a submariner. - May 18, 2005
Dop dweeee, dop dop dop dweee dow - May 16, 2005
You and me and Fabio - May 13, 2005
A phone book full of accidents? - May 12, 2005
Dominoes, a pack of cards, a painting of the war. - May 12, 2005
What I said in my mind - May 10, 2005
Welcome to the world, little butterfly. - May 09, 2005
Birthday presents? - May 09, 2005
Qwx: I'm not thinking about cookies. - May 04, 2005
Birthday present. - May 03, 2005
Not what I was intending to blog about.... - May 02, 2005
I think I have a lollipop on my shoulder. - May 01, 2005
I hate modernists, I hate modernists, I hate modernists. - April 29, 2005
Undead! Undead! - April 27, 2005
From zero to itchy in 172800 seconds. - April 25, 2005
Rise, let us be on our way. - April 22, 2005
Dear Spain, you rock. Dear Pope, you suck. - April 22, 2005
One day one day one day one day one day! - April 21, 2005
This is really fantastic news! - April 20, 2005
Ways to make yourself the subject of official scrutiny. - April 19, 2005
Rolling salsa blackout! - April 19, 2005
Splinter Cell: Tangerine Bicycle - April 17, 2005
I'm being oppressed by the British! - April 14, 2005
Qwx: Post it. - April 13, 2005
I have found love, and its name is Crap. - April 09, 2005
And the worst thing is you were nice about it. - April 08, 2005
An unlikely place to find mystery. - April 06, 2005
It's a Sin. - April 02, 2005
Gulp! - April 01, 2005
The Smirky Fucker Diary: Thursday is three kinds of fun! - March 31, 2005
Bootbootboot. - March 30, 2005
The Lazy Chef does lunch: Everybody into the freezer! - March 29, 2005
Singin' I told you, son, the day would come. - March 28, 2005
Why are all the secretaries smiling today? - March 25, 2005
Sometimes it pays to ask. - March 24, 2005
Qwx: Malice and mayhem! - March 23, 2005
Black planet. - March 21, 2005
On this the anniversary of our most beloved refund... - March 20, 2005
I don't believe in fate. - March 18, 2005
Hot tramp, I love you so. - March 18, 2005
Papayuck. - March 17, 2005
Icing the body electric. - March 16, 2005
You are the son of incestuous union. - March 15, 2005
Blood sugar, hold the sex magik - March 14, 2005
Brown rice and curried grass. - March 12, 2005
They must hire specialists for this. - March 11, 2005
Dhik. - March 10, 2005
Grin like an idiot. - March 09, 2005
Hunter's Nob. - March 09, 2005
To my dear sinister. - March 05, 2005
Qwx: New class offered in Berkeley! - March 04, 2005
Uptight. - March 02, 2005
He who poisons the river, his fortress will fall. - March 01, 2005
Nerdiness pissing contest begins... now! - February 28, 2005
Peter Akinola is really starting to piss me off. - February 25, 2005
Love is cheap. - February 24, 2005
Qwx: Possible explanations for my bank's impolite behavior this month. - February 22, 2005
Frill! - February 20, 2005
Money for nothing, and books for free - February 17, 2005
Can I offer you a moist towelette? - February 16, 2005
Magic! - February 14, 2005
I do not accept excuses! I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant. - February 14, 2005
Book report: I thought it was good. - February 12, 2005
Ways to my heart. - February 11, 2005
I've been reading Craiglist so much I'm thinking in open letters. - February 09, 2005
Qwx: Noodles?! - February 08, 2005
Boarded the train there's no getting off. - February 04, 2005
Having taken partial leave of our senses... - February 03, 2005
Dude, that's totally cheating. - February 03, 2005
I am the Great Diannini! - February 02, 2005
Fool me twice, shame on me. - February 02, 2005
Well, technically. - February 01, 2005
Roll call. - January 28, 2005
Tee hee! - January 26, 2005
No tears, party time is here again - January 25, 2005
Stand up, we'll get you on your feet again. - January 24, 2005
Mad science. - January 23, 2005
Your cheap attention please. - January 21, 2005
Global terrorism global terrorism global terrorism! - January 19, 2005
Wyeth Consumer Healthcare is rich because of me. - January 18, 2005
Flat. - January 17, 2005
My, you're looking self-perpetuating today. - January 13, 2005
Congratulations on your recent acquisition! - January 11, 2005
For science? - January 10, 2005
Donkey, minaret. Minaret, donkey. - January 10, 2005
Deeply unfortunate. - January 09, 2005
Qwx: Our office, which art in heaven - January 07, 2005
Looks like it's just you and me in this icebox. - January 06, 2005
Ah. Sleep. - January 06, 2005
Qwx: Sleep all the time, or not sleep at all? - January 05, 2005
Blackbirds, backwards, forwards and fall - January 04, 2005
Pepe, you're not the man I thought you were. - January 03, 2005
Qwx: The vessel with the pestle holds the pellet with the poison. - December 30, 2004
December 27, 2004: waterproof. - December 27, 2004
Things I think I've learned today - December 21, 2004
Just one sentence. - December 17, 2004
Jesus Christ, again with the stems? - December 15, 2004
Do the bald, do the bald, do the bald - December 14, 2004
Herbie doesn't like to make toys. - December 14, 2004
Here's an entry that will never see the light of day. - December 12, 2004
Life revolving around a bean. - December 10, 2004
Let's be specific here. - December 08, 2004
Good professional relationships are essential. - December 06, 2004
Qwx: We want cock. - December 03, 2004
If you can't lick 'em, join 'em. - December 01, 2004
You live in California. How cold could it be? - November 29, 2004
This family isn't doing so well with Thanksgiving this year. - November 24, 2004
Hahahahahaha! - November 24, 2004
Better, but still a bobble-headed doll. - November 23, 2004
I'd very politely like to know who the hell you think you are. - November 20, 2004
Masochism - November 19, 2004
Medium-rare. - November 17, 2004
Worst case scenario - November 16, 2004
From zero to seething in five seconds. - November 12, 2004
Stop it, Timecard, I already told you no once. - November 12, 2004
Thursday: a return to suck. - November 11, 2004
It's like that, and that's the way it is. - November 10, 2004
Calling all women with size 8 feet. - November 08, 2004
Being an adult sucks #2578 - November 08, 2004
As promised, today I start being reasonable. - November 04, 2004
Today I am a pigeon. - November 03, 2004
That's awfully revealing. - November 02, 2004
Qwx: Lovey dovey. - November 02, 2004
Qwx: Bok 'n roll. - November 01, 2004
Qwx: "Needless to say, they planned to spend another night of heat and fire." - October 28, 2004
We are the office that scares children. - October 27, 2004
Oh lord, deliver me from the demons of Project Accounting. - October 25, 2004
Costs an arm and a leg, but doesn't cost any hooves. - October 21, 2004
Somebody fucking comment on my story or I'm going to cry! - October 20, 2004
Qwx: The secret lives of fruit. - October 18, 2004
Whoops. - October 18, 2004
I wasn't born with that hole! - October 15, 2004
Perfectly fair, but still sucks. - October 14, 2004
It may not be the end of days, but you wouldn't know to look at it. - October 14, 2004
Were it not for the exportation of Catholicism to the non-Western world... - October 12, 2004
Not actually the breakfast of champions, but the dinner of Diannas. - October 11, 2004
Somebody buy the Vice President some new pants! - October 08, 2004
Oh my god, it totally slipped my mind. - October 04, 2004
When October comes around I lose the ability to feed myself. - October 03, 2004
This is what afternoons off are for. - October 01, 2004
At 4:10 pm today, Dianna turned into stone. - September 30, 2004
...Including a robot made of cookies. - September 29, 2004
Can she really write political limericks? - September 28, 2004
A recipe for a good weekend. - September 27, 2004
From the "god's honest truth" files. - September 24, 2004
I take it back! No prose without limericks! - September 22, 2004
Soakin' hot. - September 18, 2004
Pau! Pau! - September 17, 2004
Meta-limerick! - September 15, 2004
All right, I can't be outdone here. - September 14, 2004
A shocking rejection of the limerick trend! - September 14, 2004
Ahhhh, DSL. - September 12, 2004
The spirit catches you and you try to think of a rhyme for "lasagna". - September 10, 2004
Fuzzy logic. - September 08, 2004
San Francisco, California, Tuesday, September 7, 2004. - September 07, 2004
Can't sleep, cats will eat me. - September 07, 2004
Qwx: Frottage - September 04, 2004
Beer, work. Work, beer. - September 02, 2004
I like to move it move it. - September 02, 2004
Post hoc ergo propter hoc is perfectly good logic. - September 01, 2004
Macaroni and chess - August 31, 2004
Oh, is it three o'clock already? - August 30, 2004
Douglas Adams had something to say about this. - August 30, 2004
"Never ask an architect anything." - August 26, 2004
If I don't come in tomorrow, you better cut that tree down. - August 23, 2004
Friday, quiet, feels like Monday? - August 20, 2004
Thursday, quiet, feels like Friday. - August 12, 2004
Perks of the job #53.7: getting to open the mail. - August 11, 2004
The kind of story that totally fails to be charming. - August 07, 2004
This post is about puppies. - August 06, 2004
KoL having server problems, Dianna in mourning. Story at 11. - August 05, 2004
Qwx: Ghouls. - July 29, 2004
You wake up back in the alley, stinking of Mad Train wine. - July 28, 2004
Must remember. - July 23, 2004
Holy guacamole! - July 22, 2004
I can resist anything except temptation. - July 20, 2004
The perfect gift for the extra-large trash can in your life - July 17, 2004
Bitch bitch whine whine winge moan - July 16, 2004
Naturally delicious - July 15, 2004
The principle of ATMsa - July 13, 2004
From the Denotation-Versus-Connotation Files - July 12, 2004
Qwx: Baby baby - July 09, 2004
That wasn't a review, that was a fucking mole burrito! - July 08, 2004
Nothing that a $1,000 prescription couldn't fix. - July 08, 2004
Creativity is everything. - July 07, 2004
Charming and lovely. - July 06, 2004
Drugs? No, he's addicted to product samples. - July 01, 2004
But not in that necrophilia kind of way. - June 30, 2004
Room with a view - June 29, 2004
Motherfucking what machine? - June 25, 2004
Sure, I'm a fascist. - June 24, 2004
No poetry today. - June 24, 2004
Qwx: You really can't hear the teacher with beans in your ears. - June 21, 2004
I find you guilty of being unforgivably up in my shit. - June 17, 2004
Verb preposition adjective noun. - June 15, 2004
Is that o-f-f-e-n-s-e or o-f-f-e-n-c-e? - June 14, 2004
Qwx: Good morning, RSDFJSGDSHDG Architects. How may I help you? - June 07, 2004
Luftwaffle - June 06, 2004
I need a damn camera here. - June 04, 2004
QWX: Zucchina: Altaforte - June 02, 2004
Bleepy bleepity bleep. - June 01, 2004
Como? - June 01, 2004
Translations - May 26, 2004
Studio was never this fiendish. - May 25, 2004
I swear, it's not only because I'm sleepy. - May 21, 2004
Qwx: Lessons from history, in 1/16 scale - May 18, 2004
In other news... - May 14, 2004
Wooze. - May 12, 2004
It took some time, but my dreams have been realized. - May 11, 2004
Measles, mumps and purple bumps. - May 10, 2004
Tomorrow is my birthday. So there. - May 06, 2004
Snoof. - May 03, 2004
Chicken Itza. - April 29, 2004
Moooooo. - April 27, 2004
Qwx: Memory lane, next right. - April 26, 2004
The secretary general of the United Nations, now in a cup! - April 21, 2004
Kitchen utensils seek revenge for misuse; story at 11. - April 20, 2004
Were all those hills in the building spec, or were you just fucking around that day? - April 13, 2004
Good afternoon, how the fuck may I help you? - April 08, 2004
Who's your (employed) daddy? - April 07, 2004
Commandments for today: - April 07, 2004
If playing cellphone Tetris on the train on a Monday morning is wrong... - April 05, 2004
Yes, actually I am hot shit. - April 02, 2004
So vindicated you have no idea. - April 01, 2004
ROBOTS! - March 31, 2004
Bzzzzzzzz - March 30, 2004
Excellent benefits. - March 21, 2004
Up for adoption. - March 17, 2004
Squish blorp waddle. - March 09, 2004
I can be any machine you want me to be. - March 05, 2004
Civic doozy - March 02, 2004
Archaeologists digging in the Syrian desert today dug up the remains of the previously undiscovered city of TooMuchGarlicOpolis. - February 23, 2004
Cottage industry: people making cottages. - February 07, 2004
Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones, calling Dr. Jones - January 24, 2004
-Buenos dias, La Compania, Dianna habla. - January 21, 2004
A long and graphic lesson on the proper treatment of your ears. - January 20, 2004
Yumyumyumyumyumyum. - January 12, 2004
All you gotta tell me now is why why why - January 07, 2004
Why didn't anybody tell me... - January 05, 2004
Tuba mirum - January 03, 2004
Qwx: Dianna, can I come in? - December 29, 2003
Glamorous, in demand and hyperventilating slightly. - December 19, 2003
When 35 hours is more important than 4 years? - December 18, 2003
Why do good things never want to stay? - December 13, 2003
And now, a stori... I mean story. - December 04, 2003
Slingin' liquor is fine, but when all's said and done it doesn't beat a good pie. - December 01, 2003
Las nueve reinas. - November 18, 2003
You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older. - November 17, 2003
This is old news, but possibly new here. - November 07, 2003
Out like a rather exasperated light. - November 05, 2003
Why do I always have to control the witness? - November 01, 2003
If you never see me again, promise me you'll take revenge. - October 29, 2003
V. hot, with extra flies. - October 25, 2003
Buildy buildy buildy build. - October 25, 2003