September 04, 2004

Qwx: Frottage

We spent our first night in the cottage last night. I fucking love it. It's quirky and strange and it smells like new paint and old wood. The floors are soft and smooth; they make me take my shoes off every time I get inside and pad around barefoot. The walls are wiggly, wavy, patched-up plaster and when you touch them you can feel 80 years of paint layers under your fingers. The doorknobs rattle, the doors sit funny in their frames, the hardware is eclectic. The front door closes by itself with a creak that would make Alfred Hitchcock proud, and the knobbly-footed tub wiggles ever so gently back and forth on its legs.

In all of this, the outlets all work, the lights are new with fresh bulbs, the windows open and close, and the screens are intact. No holes, no rotted floorboards, no spiderwebs. No leaks. New granite countertops, new cabinets, a nice modern fridge. Brand-new shower hardware. Everything is beautiful.

I drifted off to sleep last night thinking, "This is the test. If it's haunted, I'll find out tonight. Maybe I'll have horrible grisly nightmares. Maybe I'll hear things in the middle of the night. Maybe I'll wake up and find Jacob kidnapped or mummified or something." I always think that in old houses; if a place has had more than half a century to attract ghouls I automatically assume that it has done so. But I dreamed of taking mysterious trips and meeting interesting people, and woke up at 7:30 feeling refreshed and giddy. You hear that, ghouls? This is my house now. I belong in it.

Posted by dianna at September 4, 2004 11:51 AM

right on!

Posted by: michele at September 4, 2004 04:44 PM

I'm so jealous of your cool cottage! Except that it's in Berkeley. And that you have to live with Jacob. All night long with the video games! Boom! Bang! Boom!

Posted by: jason s at September 5, 2004 01:23 PM

Congrats on your house.

Frottage is when you rub up against someone/thing for sexual pleasure, isn't it? Like if you're a frotteur?

Posted by: robyn at September 5, 2004 06:08 PM

Houses either attract ghouls, pests, or neighbors. Gotta pick your poison.

Posted by: poot at September 5, 2004 09:28 PM

So far our house is only attracting cats and boxes of crap. But I'll pick ghouls if it's a choice between that and neighbors, pests, or pesty neighbors. We do have a hole into the spiderweb dimension in the kitchen behind the water heater, so maybe there's hope for ghouls yet.

Posted by: Dianna at September 7, 2004 09:38 AM