January 07, 2004

All you gotta tell me now is why why why

Most of you, my cement associates, know me as Dianna-with-metal-thingies-in-her-cheeks. Not unreasonable, since I've had them there for almost a year and a half. Jacob knew me for a short time as Dianna-without-those-thingies; Jason, Erica and Michelle all met me once or twice as Dianna-with-a-lip-ring-instead. Even I have a hard time remembering what I looked like so far in the distant past, so I can only assume that you all find yourselves in a similar situation.

I regret to inform you that you're about to be reminded. I'm taking them out.

We've had some good times together, those metal thingies and I. We've gotten ourselves all-but-disowned together. We've been poked in the face by strangers whose curiosity outweighed their sense of personal space. We've been asked the same inane questions so many times we've wished we had a personal FAQ file ("Is that all one piece of jewelry all the way across your mouth?"). We've been stared at with expressions of bewilderment, hostility, sympathetic pain and occasionally admiration. We laughed together at the job interview in which both cheeks lost their jewelry while I was explaining my incredible qualifications and enthusiasm for the job. We sat in the front room of Gottsi together feeling nauseous after the painful post-interview re-insertion. We've collaborated in freaking Kristen out by making ridiculous stretchy fishy faces. We've gently helped countless surprised people remember the word "dimples" while they stuttered and gesticulated.

How, then, could we possibly be parting ways after such a long and wonderful relationship? Well, no one is an island. Not even with metal thingies to keep them company. We all must think of the health and happiness of others, in this case my teeth. While making funny faces in the shower this morning, I suddenly thought of my top canine teeth and how often I feel the insides of my metal thingies rubbing on them. Exploratory poking with a finger revealed alarming results-- as near as I can tell, the disks inside my cheeks have rubbed distinct depressions into the teeth nearest them. I can't be having that.

As someone who argues constantly against the assumption that piercings are dangerous and unwise, I can't walk around with my piercings causing incidental damage even if I didn't mind wearing away my teeth. It's the same reason I can't subsist on french fries and vegan cookies and be malnourished-- it undermines every health-related argument I can make in favor of my hippie-ass vegan diet. So I have to eat lots of fresh vegetables and legumes and take my animal-free vitamins and take out my piercings when they start having consequences for my dental health; I don't want to subvert my own subversiveness by being a hypocrite. But it makes me sad.

At least I'll always have the dimples. Or so I hope. *sniffle*

Posted by dianna at January 7, 2004 12:05 PM

dood, you're getting rid of your fish piercings? but that is how i define you in my head. now what will you be known by? i guess the vagina tattoo will symbolize you from now on.

Posted by: didofoot at January 7, 2004 12:14 PM

you had a lip ring?

Posted by: michele at January 7, 2004 12:20 PM

Er... yes? I did? I could swear that when I was over at the Pleasant Hill house playing Scrabble and eating all your candy I still had it. Unfortunately, the only picture I could find from that event showed me eating candy with my hand obscuring whatever extraneous mouth protruberances I may have had.

But I know I had the vagina tattoo. I will always have the vagina tattoo. Long live vagina tattoos.

Posted by: dianna at January 7, 2004 12:49 PM

Actually, I don't think ever kissed you with your lip ring in. So I'm not positive you had it when we started dating...Unless my memory fails me. And it has before...

Posted by: Jacob at January 7, 2004 01:40 PM

EEeeewww Jacob and Dianna kiss!!!!

Posted by: gene at January 7, 2004 01:52 PM

if you guys use tongue i am telling.

Posted by: didofoot at January 7, 2004 02:10 PM

No, I don't think I had the lip ring when we started dating. But I do remember being in a car in the city with you and Sarah, complaining about the way it was migrating. The lip ring, not the car. I'm sure you saw me with it at least once or twice. Do I need to go back and check this with my diary?

Oh, we use tongue. But not for kissing. It's actually for doing the dishes.... saves on water bills, let me tell you.

NOW you can say eww.

Posted by: dianna at January 7, 2004 02:15 PM

Here we go (only Jacob will be able to follow this link, I'm afraid): May 28th 2002, the date of the lip ring removal. Perhaps only Jacob saw it, but I know for a fact that he did see it. Ha!

Posted by: dianna at January 7, 2004 02:31 PM

so YOU are my mysterious magical brownies! i tell you, my dishes have never been cleaner.

Posted by: didofoot at January 7, 2004 02:35 PM

*think think think*
Errrr....yes? I think I remember now.......

Posted by: Jacob at January 7, 2004 03:17 PM

Psh. So much for thinking I made a significant first impression on you.

Posted by: dianna at January 7, 2004 06:31 PM

Hi, i really hope you have msn cause i'd love to chat to you about piercings and dental issues! See i want my lip pierced but im worried it will damage my teeth and gums. Any thoughts? Thanks

Posted by: Fiona at November 15, 2004 09:10 AM

it'll damage your teeth and gums.

Posted by: michele at November 15, 2004 09:21 AM

Might. Might. If you get it labret-style (a low piercing with barbell/fishtail/stud jewelry) it probably will do damage; a higher piercing with a ring might or might not, or if you're like me it won't even freakin' stay long enough to do anything before it starts migrating.

How about a vertical labret? They can't damage anything because they're not even touching the teeth or gums. And they're lovely and unusual. That's my recommendation.

Posted by: Dianna at November 15, 2004 09:49 AM