Snoqualmie

Wrong wrong wrong.

Last week I signed up for a buy.com account so that I could buy (dot com) something as a present for Jacob. Why should I buy (with or without dots) a present for Jacob? Well, why the hell not? I heard about something so gloriously well-suited to his tastes that I was confident that a) he'd be excited about it and b) he didn't have it, because if he had I'd have seen him using it. After some messing around with the wrong stores, I was told I could find it at the aforementioned dotty place. Great! I signed up, ordered, and paid. When I got the email telling me my order had shipped I practically jumped out of my seat.

That being last Tuesday, and this being this Tuesday, and the treasure having not yet fallen into my grubby hands, I thought I'd mosey over to package-tracking and see what the hold-up was. This involves logging in to buy.com, which I did confidently, entering my email address and password.

Sorry, no record of an account with that email address and/or password.

No problem, my typing is sloppy, I'll try again.

Sorry, no record of an account with that email address and/or password.

Fascinating, that, since I got the account emails just fine and I know what password I used. Well, okay, maybe I don't know what password I used. I'll enter my email address and ask for my hint.

Sorry, no record of an account with that email address.

I will copy and paste my email address from the "to" field of the email telling me my order was shipped (and my credit card charged, may I remind you), and ask for my goddamned password hint.

Ah, great, we recognize you now. Here's your hint.

Peachy. I was right about my password after all. I will copy and paste my email address again and type in my password.

Sorry, no record of an account with that email address and/or password.

I will rend you limb from limb, but also I will copy and paste my email address and ask you to reset my password and email it to me.

New password created and emailed to you. By the way, did you know you don't have a password hint?

Yes I do, you just showed it to me.

Nope. Just thought you should know. Isn't that interesting?

Whatever. I will copy and paste my goddamned motherfucking email address for the last time, copy and paste the random string of characters you've given me for a password, and log the fuck in.

Sorry, no record of an account with that email address and/or password.

...

I can buy all the stupid shit in the world for myself when I don't need it or have any good reason to have it, and no lousy website ever gives me this kind of crap. I go and I buy one awesome present for the man I love, because I think he'll appreciate it and I like to do nice things for him, and some bloody login script drops my account off the face of the earth so I can't find out if it's even still coming?

I hate you, internet. I'm coming for you with an axe just as soon as I figure out where to hit.

Posted by dianna at May 31, 2005 07:26 PM