April 29, 2004

Chicken Itza.

It's really been one of those days. Work was busy. New projects are coming into the office at rates exceeding one a day (today was two). I forgot to put out the trash and recycling until I was leaving, stayed to do it, and wound up leaving my favorite, fragile, blue spirally ring on my desk where people toss giant memo pads around when I'm not there. I worked out my finances for the next two months, got them neatly in order, saved the excel file to a disk so I could bring it home, and then left it in the computer at work. I dropped a tissue on Church St, wheeled around to pick it up as it blew away, and dropped my discman squarely on the sidewalk. In an alternate and preferable universe my lightning-quick grab for it would have resulted in a perfect catch and the discman would have been saved. Instead I grabbed the headphone cord and pulled it neatly out of its socket while the discman continued plummeting groundwards.

Then I did it again on the escalator in the BART station while fumbling for my wallet.

Here's a thought. The other day on cnn.com I read an article about the U.S.-approved design for the new Iraqi flag. It contains no red (Arab nationalism), no green or black (Islam), and it doesn't say Allahu akbar (God is the greatest). It does have an Islamic crescent, which is rendered in a charming color scheme of white and blue. That's right, this proposal calls for the traditionally and overwhelmingly Muslim country of Iraq to share a color scheme with no nearby countries except Israel, the politically-embroiled Jewish church state. But lest you should worry about what consequences that coincidental similarity will have, please consider that the true and meaningful similarity will be apparent to all and will surely serve to boost Iraq's popularity in the Middle East. Kids: the new Iraqi flag will share two of three colors with our very own United States flag.

I'd love to meet the person who came up with this idea and ask what the fuck he or she was thinking.

Posted by dianna at April 29, 2004 07:16 PM

i've been breaking glass a lot lately. (this is sort of related, because of clumsiness.) i keep reaching for a glass or a picture frame and then i forget how fingers are supposed to work. (should i be clutching? or do i have some sort of sucker mechanism which will compel objects to stick to my hand? yeah, i think it's that one. CRASH!)

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 02:27 PM

and then i never actually sweep or vacuum, so my feet receive interesting presents from the floor in the form of glass shards for weeks afterward, and then the floor receives presents from my feet in the form of bloodstains.

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 02:28 PM

Just yesterday I burned myself with coffee in an embarassing display of clumsiness. I was pouring from the coffee pot into my cup and suddenly became confused about whether one stopped flor by righting the pot or tipping it further. I hypothesized that tipping it further was the proper procedure, and in a mighty display of scientific rigor poured so much hot coffee into the cup that it overflowed all over my hand.

Posted by: Jacob at April 30, 2004 02:46 PM

but blue and white are extremely popular flag colors. i don't know if i would say that those colors being chosen for the Iraqi flag are emblematic of its being a watered-down (blood-stains out) version of the US flag.

Posted by: michele at April 30, 2004 02:54 PM

you could say their choice was clumsy, perhaps.

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 03:01 PM

just so we're clear. the US didn't design the flag. the guy who did design it said this:

"The parallel blue lines represent the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers -- and by extension Iraq's Sunni and Shiite Arabs, since the river basin is their heartland.

The yellow line represents the Kurds, while the crescent is a symbol of Islam."

plus, see it's got yellow. the US hasn't got any yellow. sure it sucks that a new flag is being forced on them. and definitly they should have a government they elected design it and implement it if they must have a new flag instead of this one designed by a british based iraqi artist. but at least, in my opinion, it has nothing to do with the colors of the US flag.


Posted by: michele at April 30, 2004 03:15 PM

you're damn right the US doesn't have any yellow! we're no cowards! these colors don't run!

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 03:18 PM

Thank you, Kristen, for keeping this comment thread relevant in this era of lightning-fast changes and instant obsolescence.

Really, though, this isn't fair. I'm supposed to be sorting through two years of unfiled papers from underneath my desk, and instead I'm reading your anecdotes of clumsiness and trying so hard not to laugh out loud that I've got tears in my eyes and my nose is starting to run.

I want to live in the universe in which Kristen has suckers on her hands and Jacob can stop coffee in mid-pour by tipping the pot the wrong way.

Posted by: Dianna at April 30, 2004 03:21 PM

Fuck! Who said you guys could interject a whole gang of comments between my post and the one to which I was responding?

Posted by: Dianna at April 30, 2004 03:22 PM

Michele: I know the U.S. didn't design the flag. The similarity to the U.S. colors and to Israel's colors is, I think, merely a coincidence brought about by the big problem, which is the removal of the colors (and the Allahu akbar) which are the elements of traditional Arab-Islamic standards. Keeping the elements of traditional Arab-Islamic standards makes sense. It's an Arab-Islamic country.

It seems like a really sudden and kind of forced attempt to suddenly sterilize and insert distance from things that are inescapably relevant to the country.

Posted by: Dianna at April 30, 2004 03:27 PM

but, dianna (she explains patiently), we believe in the *separation* of church and state. jeez, didn't you ever take social studies? and sauce for the american goose is sauce for the rest of the world's gander.

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 03:32 PM

Kristen, this is no time to be getting sauced. Or saucy.

Posted by: Dianna at April 30, 2004 03:35 PM

oops, looks like my goose is cooked.

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 03:42 PM

seperation of church and state, my ass. the man said he was appointed by god as his messanger. someone should inform him of kristen's goose.

p.s. i really like the word 'gander'.

Posted by: michele at April 30, 2004 03:45 PM

i guess i should take a gander at that article.

i'm on FIRE!

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 03:49 PM

are you on fire because out of pure clumsiness and a belief that your sucker-hands were heat resistant, you plunged those digits into a hearty flame? you know what will take the sting out? fresh coffee. just ask jacob.

Posted by: michele at April 30, 2004 03:56 PM

yes! and that's how my goose got cooked. from the fire.

Posted by: didofoot at April 30, 2004 07:16 PM

Right, because you were holding the goose.

With your sucker-hands.

To try to cook it.

In the fire.

Posted by: Dianna at April 30, 2004 08:32 PM

hello my name is george and i am a lardox. and i will turn into a lardox/lumox/wolferin this summer

bye bye

Posted by: lardox lard at April 24, 2006 02:42 PM