I occasionally have to stop and edit myself for public consumption. The other Indian architect came in today and told us all that she's pregnant. I gaped and babbled something about, "What, really?" while replaying through my head the things she's said recently about having children. The ones I could remember seemed to be mostly along the lines of "not ready" and "I hope not", so I opened my mouth to ask her if she'd decided to actually have the baby.
Just then my tactful alter-ego stepped in and kicked me hard in the shin. "Dianna," she told me while I whimpered and clutched my metaphorical leg, "Everybody in this office is older than you. Most of them are married. Three of them have children already and two are now expecting. Most of them are from outside the U.S. and Europe, and several of them are Catholic. Shut your 20-something, unmarried, atheist, non-procreating, radical-liberal-feminist mouth before you get yourself in a world of trouble." So I did.
I have to admit that my tactful alter-ego is probably in the right. Everyone's talking about baby books and names and how her mother's taking the news, which seems to indicate that a baby is a foregone conclusion. It's making my skin crawl a little, though, especially because she looks more bewildered than happy (the Indian architect, I mean, not her mother). It would almost be worth offending most of the office just to ask and be reassured that she weighed the available options and chose parenthood deliberately. You did... I mean, you did stop and think that you don't have to if you don't want to... right? Please tell me you did. Like hell you should be doing this if you didn't.
Posted by dianna at February 4, 2005 10:50 AMHeh heh heh, yesterday you impulsively took on a third cat, today you're worrying about whether someone else has thought through the whole parenthood thing.
And yes they are the same thing. Food, water, attention, and ruined furniture. The four constants of cat care and child-rearing. Make sure they get their shots, don't let them play in traffic, and you're all set!
I'm going to be the best dad ever.
Posted by: Andrew at February 4, 2005 12:06 PMHey, unlike Michele over there, I'm not actually creating new cats. At least I hope I'm not. That would definitely be cause for a call to Planned Parenthood.
Posted by: Dianna at February 4, 2005 01:05 PMwhosa fuzzy wittle baby kitty-witty then? who is? you are! coochie coochie cooooo!
Posted by: michele at February 4, 2005 01:11 PMI draw the line at giving the kittens pacifiers. Those sharp kitten teeth would shred the things anyway, I guess.
Posted by: Dianna at February 4, 2005 01:16 PMoooch. here's the life lesson i'm taking from your journal today: never breast-feed your kittens.
Posted by: katie at February 4, 2005 03:18 PMIs it somewhere in South America where there's a trend of women carrying around puppies as though they're human babies, and breastfeeding them? I think it is. It might be Brazil. I wonder how sharp puppy teeth are?
Posted by: Dianna at February 4, 2005 08:14 PMPuppy teeth are, from extensive personal experience, though not of the breast-feeding sort, for the obvious reason(s)...uh...
...
I just lost track of where I was in those nested clauses.
Puppy teeth are really fucking sharp. And puppies have strong jaws.
Posted by: Erik at February 5, 2005 07:41 PMDon't dogs and cats breast-feed their young? I don't think I've ever seen a dog opening up a can of Similac for the pups. Maybe the teeth aren't so bad. Or maybe "civilization" has softened us humans up too much! It's time to take a stand! Reclaim your tough hunter-gatherer heritage! Breast-feed a puppy today!
Posted by: Andrew at February 7, 2005 08:15 AMi was about 8 months pregnant with my son, oh so long ago, and i was holding a three week old kitten in my arms. she was the sweetest thing ever, just snoozing away happily making little purry kitten sounds.
and then she smelled the fact that i was pregnant and decided to take her needle sharp kitty teeth and bit down on my nipple.
needless to say the cat managed to live through the ordeal. my mother rescued her, and still has her fat old butt (the cat, not mom) hanging around the house. whenever i see her she follows me. every holiday, every birthday, she follows me around the house like i like her or something.
i don't touch kittens anymore. fluffy little evil things with teeth. so there. lol
Posted by: Ang at February 8, 2005 10:42 AM