Snoqualmie

It's time now for Obvious Hour.

If you recently talked to your sister on the phone, and she told you how she's been listening to the Alkaline Trio song "Sadie" and it just hit her that it's about Susan Atkins (that's the murder Atkins, not the diet Atkins) and she went and read a bunch of stuff about Atkins and Charles Manson and now she's all creeped out and afraid to go to bed... you probably shouldn't go and read that same stuff while your boyfriend's going to bed and your house is getting progressively quieter and scarier and you're too full of chocolate chips to be sleepy. You should, I repeat, not do this. You should instead work on your LGBT Studies final even if half of it seems kind of like bullshit, and that way when you eventually go to sleep you'll be thinking about why heterosexuality is a conundrum instead of how terrifyingly insane people can be, and in your very own home metropolis at that.

Tragically, you will not do this at all. You will also not get any work done on your final, because now you've got the song in your head and you keep obsessively checking to see if the windows are shut and jumping out of your chair every time one of the cats walks in the room. Great plan, there.