Snoqualmie

Are we supposed to guess how the phrase "Without, hesitation, I recommend" could possibly appear in a grammatically correct sentence, or am i just reading too much into this charming photo?

The picture I will explain free of charge: it was a typographical error that appeared in a glowing letter of recommendation written by an otherwise impeccably literate faculty member at my school. It floated across my desk, I discreetly corrected the typo and re-printed it, and my student assistant and I both spent several minutes having silent conniptions about it. Then I made this nice colorful censoring border for it and posted it for my enjoyment over my desk.

Is it because your books are in storage in boxes in a far-off place that it would be impractical to haul boxes from on a bike?

Nope! My books are right here in my bedroom! Think of a slightly longer chain of actions.

Hum, now this IS intriguing. Last night I thought it must be fairly mundane, per my explanation, but now all sorts or Rube Goldbergian ideas are entering my mind.

In order to tally your books, you will obviously need paper. And not just any paper! Only reconstituted wood pulp made from driver's license examinations will do! But, alas! your license has expired catastrophically, and a court order prevents you or anyone you know coming within 100 feet of a DMV office until you have completed remedial driver's education. Only by taking remedial driver's education can you hope to purloin the paper you need.

That is an authentic and laudable effort at logical convolution right there. Sir, I commend you.

Perhaps it is because in order to tally I need to have a pencil, but I happen to have no pencils at home and as my workplace has gone entirely paperless I cannot smuggle one from there. A well-meaning ordinance intended to reduce carbon pollution has made it economically unfeasible for any merchant within Multnomah County to sell graphite pencils and so I need to travel in order to purchase one, and that travel (ironically enough) must be done in a personal carbon-emitting vehicle, which I am not presently qualified to drive.

I would say that the actual answer is perfectly mundane in all its parts (containing no bizarre city ordinances, for instance), but still far more convoluted as a whole than your first guess.

I am walking out the door now to catch a cross-country flight, but: I have at least one interesting anecdote related to "paperless" offices from my work this summer, which I will relate when I have more time.

Hey! We never found out why you couldn't tally your books until you took remedial driver's ed! I demand closure!