Goddamn hippies and their goddamn loopholes.
I bought a ridiculous hippie personal care product last week: Mandarin Orange Patchouli fragrance herbal deodorant. When I took off the lid and took a sniff, it smelled like orange with a hint of something else that was hard to place. I'm not terribly familiar with the scent of patchouli, but I did think it reminded me of something.
It doesn't seem to be doing very much, anyway. As far as I can tell, my armpits smell like armpits, rather than like mandarin oranges. I'd like to say that this means that it isn't working as advertised. But in re-evaluating the fragrance of the deodorant itself, I've just discovered a critical hole in my argument. Whereas, my armpits smell like armpits, and whereas, the deodorant smells like patchouli, and whereas, patchouli appears to smell pretty much like armpits... I cannot say with any certainty that it isn't working exactly as intended.
It's a fairly brilliant approach to ensuring effectiveness, really. In other news, I've purchased a home air freshener which is absolutely guaranteed to make my house smell like cats and garlic.
Posted by dianna at October 26, 2005 10:34 AMI really don't know what patchouli smells like, either, except insofar as, when I hear people making fun of hippies, they tend to use the phrase "smells like patchouli" in a derogatory way. That is, while I don't know what it smells like, all the references I've heard to its smell have been negative. Obviously, though, someone must like it, or they wouldn't be making patchouli deodorant.
Posted by: Zach S. at October 26, 2005 10:49 AMThe only thing I've known about patchouli prior to this was that it's often in incense form and I hate it, but then, I passionately and categorically hate everything when it's in incense form. It's possible that both incense and this deodorant present unfavorable impressions of the scent of patchouli. After all, one of the other fragrances of this brand of deodorant actually managed to make grapefruit smell terrible. I thought, "Mmm, grapefruit! Give me grapefruit over this patchouli crap any day!" then took a sniff of it and started grabbing frantically for the patchouli.
Posted by: Dianna at October 26, 2005 02:03 PMWhereas, your personal care product is a hippie personal care product;
And whereas, your hippie personal care product makes your armpits smell like armpits;
And whereas, hippies smell like armpits;
And whereas, you now smell like a hippie;
Now, therefore, your hippie personal care product appears to be working.