June 21, 2004

Qwx: You really can't hear the teacher with beans in your ears.

Me: Fallacy press-fit gramophone.
Architect: What?
Me: [Insert name of contractor] is on the phone.
Architect: For me?
Me: Belly sauna heartthrob butter fizzy.
Architect: What?
Me: Well, he wanted [insert name of owner] but he's busy.
Architect: So tell him he's in a meeting.
Me: Grime Lester vindaloo.
Architect: What?
Me: I'm just about to.
Architect: So no one needs to talk to me, then?
Me: Fallacy press-fit gramophone! Purdue!
Architect: What?
Me: You are from Mars.

Posted by dianna at June 21, 2004 04:04 PM

How have you not been fired? :P

Posted by: Chris at June 21, 2004 05:45 PM

For some reason I'm taking extreme exception to that statement. It may have to do with it being 11 pm and me having been out of the house since 8 am, or it may have to do with the fact that I was trying to express my extreme frustration with having communication troubles and feeling like I was being viewed as incoherent if not actually mentally incompetent. I should be able to fire him, not the other way around. I'm a fucking model employee. Now give me my sleep.

Posted by: Dianna at June 21, 2004 11:12 PM

i actually thought that you were referring to some kind of architect-office code. like when you see movies with some air force guy in his plane and he's getting orders and they're spelling everything out to make sure it's clear, and there's a word that represents every letter.

"build the little model of the radisson!"
"control, can you repeat?"
"pilot, that's a go on radisson, that's radish armadillo diaper ichabod sidewinder sidewinder oleomargarine nebuchadnezzar. copy?"
"roger that, control."

Posted by: katie at June 22, 2004 12:24 AM

"Delta group, heading zero-niner-niner, prepare for plotting. Do you copy?"

"No, control, I don't copy. We send out to the Xerox place for that, remember?"

Posted by: Dianna at June 22, 2004 09:16 AM

My apologies if you took exception. The comment was genuinely meant to be in good funI blame it on my apparent lack of an important neurotransmitter.

Posted by: Chris at June 22, 2004 09:51 AM

No apologies necessary. I was grumpy as hell last night, and I recognized, but chose to ignore, the :P that indicated that you weren't really suggesting I should be fired.

Posted by: Dianna at June 22, 2004 10:19 AM

Also, I was worried that somehow I'd totally mis-written this entry and you'd gotten the impression that I was really walking around talking in rhyming nonsense code.

Posted by: Dianna at June 22, 2004 10:21 AM

I didn't take it that literally, but man, if you ever decided that you wanted to get fired, that would be the coolest way to do it in the universe!

Posted by: Chris at June 22, 2004 11:30 AM

Hey, yeah.

I'd need to work on my poker face, though. The gibberish should be delivered with perfect seriousness, as though it's the very pinnacle of clarity and coherence.

Posted by: Dianna at June 22, 2004 11:45 AM

Chris- Maybe before you post, think: what would my neurotransmitters say, if I had sufficient quantities of them? Naw, I'm just messin' with you, man...though if I am referred to as a 'creep' or a 'weirdo' any time soon as a result, you'll hear about it. :-D

Posted by: Erik at June 22, 2004 09:50 PM

When you live with hearing loss, every conversation sounds like that.

This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the hearing impaired.

Posted by: mal at June 23, 2004 09:24 AM

"Hey, you're alive!" exclaimed Dianna, winning the Inane Restatement Of The Obvious award for the month of June. "I haven't seen you around in a while," she continued, trying for a second award in the space of two sentences.

I'm pretty sure I communicate better with people who can't hear me than with people who merely don't understand what the hell I'm talking about. Unfortunately, I know a lot more of the latter than of the former.

Posted by: Dianna at June 23, 2004 10:38 AM

"you have a bunny on your webpage!"

i'm just trying to help you out here, dianna.

Posted by: michele at June 23, 2004 10:55 AM

Michele, that was a valiant effort. Thank you.

Posted by: Dianna at June 23, 2004 01:21 PM

i got pretty excited about the bunny on his webpage. so it was no trouble, dianna. no trouble at all.

all white and fluffy looking...fluffy!

Posted by: michele at June 23, 2004 01:34 PM

Mmmm... bunny.

Stop looking at me like that. You know I don't eat bunny. I might nibble on a fuzzy ear, but I swear that's all.

Posted by: Dianna at June 23, 2004 03:37 PM