Snoqualmie

Ow! OW! My god, you sort of did a scapula pull. This wasn't the same knee that you smacked on the bottom of the pool, was it?

I would be sitting in an entire bathtub of Bactine right now. Actually, I'd be pouting. I'd be sitting in Bactine pouting and making that "hssss" noise that you do to make sure everyone knows how much it stings. Has anyone offered you cookies yet?

See, if you'd had your gun (or even your medium-sized rock) this wouldn't have happened.

Oh, these pictures were taken after the bathtub full of Bactine. Actually I re-enacted the Psycho shower scene by washing about a half-cup of blood down the drain, jammed my thumb into the most profusely bleeding puncture for a few minutes while repeating over and over again how dumb that had been of me, swabbed myself down with hydrogen peroxide, and then took pictures.

Nobody's offered me cookies, now that you mention it. Jacob did collect the variously-scattered peroxide and band-aids, and get me a cup of chai from the coffeeshop, so he's probably earned his cookie equivalence by now.

Erik, my medium-sized rock and my appropriate fear were both nowhere to be found. It's my total inability to analyze circumstances operating -- somehow an angry, aggressive cat with razor-sharp claws doesn't trigger the "leave quietly" reflex the way an unperturbed bee or a mildly cocky squirrel does.

I did do a scapula pull! Or one of those weight dances where you string big heavy balls through your skin; in this case the weight was a cat, the string was made of claws, and the dance was the Bloody Imbecile. You do it by extending your right foot, then standing frozen on the spot and shrieking.

Damn. It took Jacob pointing this out for me to remember: scapula is shoulder. Patella is knee. Mom would not be proud of us.

OY. Too too painful. Just to be sure: those are all scratches, right, and no bites?

Pretty sure, yeah. Most of them segue into scratches, and the few that don't are located where both anatomy and memory suggest there must have been claws. I can't remember if he was trying to use teeth or not, but I don't think he succeeded.

Good. I only ask because of the cat-bite-mom-hospital debacle of 199...4? 5? I can't even remember anymore. Regardless! Keep those suckers clean and watch them closely - I don't want to hear about any cat-Dianna-hospital business.

Okay. Now that you've made me incredibly paranoid, what was the cat-bite-mom-hospital debacle about? Be specific. I want to know what I'm watching for here.

Well, if you were bitten there's a small risk of rabies.

Well, yes, but I cannot watch my leg for rabies (at least not with the naked eye). I was wondering, since Arianna said, "watch them closely," for what exactly she was suggesting I should watch.

I'm not very concerned about this particular cat being rabid. Jacob and I were just discussing this. We've seen him in our yard frequently for about two years now, and his behavior hasn't changed in the slightest. His aggression and lack of fear towards humans and other cats isn't new, and given the incubation period for rabies (4-6 weeks), if it were caused by rabies he'd be long since dead. He's also, as I mentioned, an owned cat and therefore almost certainly vaccinated. In any case, Berkeley Animal Control says that cats are not natural vectors for rabies and, as of 1998, only three cats in all of the state of California were found to have it. There is no known case of a human getting rabies from a cat in this state, and the only reported rabies infections in humans in Berkeley have come from bats and skunks.

I am going to put up signs in the neighborhood about the cat, because this block is full of kids who will, according to age and temperament, pet, chase, and/or throw things at any animal they see wandering around. I do not particularly fancy the thought of one of my eight-year-old neighbors trying the same stunt that I did, or one of the four-year-olds trying to be friendly, and getting seriously hurt. And I think I'll put a warning in to the owners of the cat (because I don't know who they are, and anyone who tries leaning over to read the cat's collar is begging for reconstructive surgery) that while I didn't call animal control about this, if he shows similar behavior again I will do so.

Not, mind you, that I'm planning on provoking him again. I have learned my lesson. Unfortunately, he has not learned his, unless his lesson was supposed to be, "the weight load of Dianna's lower thigh is approximately four pounds per standard five-claw paw."

Oh, right, and anyway they're scratches. And as for cleaning them well, I've put so much hydrogen peroxide into them in the last two days that I'm pretty sure if you cut me open (again) I'd bleed a sort of dilute pink.

Cool. I'm glad you've known the cat for a while. My brother was once randomly attacked by a stray cat. He had to have the full course of rabies shots, which I'm sure were more unpleasant in Egypt 15 years ago than in the US now :)

Oops; I didn't mean to leave you hanging in medical misery.

The cat-bites-mom-hospital-extravaganza: you may remember Shadow, the incredibly timid cat I've had since sixth grade. She now lives with me in St. Louis, but she spent most of my teenaged years under my bed in Topanga. When we were moving out of our house for earthquake repairs, Shadow accidentally got outside - certain kitty death in the canyon - and my mom went after her. Shadow was...melting down, slightly, and bit my mom very severely; cats have anaerobic bacteria in their mouths, which doesn't mix well with deep puncture wounds, and my mom spent the next five days in the hospital.

She's really a good cat, I swear!

They also have bacteria-filled claws, which is part of how they toy with their prey, by watching them die very slowly of gangrene. OK, that's monitor lizards, but it could apply to this one evil cat too.

Ahh, thank you. That's you as in Arianna, not you as in Katie who is now inexplicably talking about monitor lizards. My lizards are under perfectly adequate surveillance already, thank you.

Lizard Monitor Vimes.

Erasing The Lessons Once They Have Been Learned! A Task Given Only To The Trustworthy!