June 07, 2004

Qwx: Good morning, RSDFJSGDSHDG Architects. How may I help you?

-Well, I've got a question about the plans for a project.
Oh, is this the Hfiwrufhsd Inn & Suites in San Rdfigdh, California?
-Yes. The plans came into my home yesterday and ate my first-born son. Were they supposed to do that?
Well, no, I don't think so. We did put out an addendum addressing some of the questions we've gotten, if that helps.
-Addendum? No, I didn't get any addendum. Look, he was only three. My wife and I have been saving for his college tuition already, we wanted him to go to a really good school.
Um, I'm really sorry.
-I mean, I didn't like the look of the plans to start with. I thought the red eyes and goat horns were really tasteless. But I thought they'd be okay to build from; I mean, I never thought plans would actually eat anybody.
No, I wouldn't really think they'd do that either.
-Did you know that in 43 years I've never seen a set of plans eat anybody's first-born son?
No, as a matter of fact I didn't know that.
-They just came right in and picked him up, drew this star thing on his chest, and started eating. Chomp. Chomp. Two big bites and he was gone. How does paper even digest, anyway?
I really couldn't tell you, sir.
-These plans are bad. I mean, really, really BAD.

Posted by dianna at June 7, 2004 01:38 PM

Yup. Definitely guffawed. Almost sent green curry flying, but was able to control it. Whew.

Posted by: Arianna at June 8, 2004 07:44 PM

The ONLY two reasons that I didn't guffaw are: 1) I have inhuman self-control, AND 2) I'm too tired to do anything but move my eyes and try to process the words on my screen.

That was really extraordinarily funny! (apparently I'm also too tired to write much of a compliment)

Posted by: Erik at June 8, 2004 08:24 PM

Heheh... thanks. Next time I'll be trying for genuine curry launchage. Aim for the stars, hit the curtains and leave a stain. That's my motto.

I really do have to wonder what it was about the plans that prompted this contractor to use such emphatic language on the phone. You don't call something BAD in big bold capital letters just because it's a little unclear about its requirements for vinyl floor tiles... do you?

Posted by: Dianna at June 8, 2004 09:19 PM

Well, I don't, but I'm not a contractor. They're a surly bunch, you know.

Posted by: Arianna at June 9, 2004 04:16 PM

I know.

Lord, do I know.

Posted by: Dianna at June 9, 2004 04:26 PM


Posted by: didofoot at June 11, 2004 12:19 PM