October 25, 2006
Last Thursday, you'll recall, I was trying to finish up some reading and a reading response for my two-unit class on Discworld. I had a fairly busy evening before getting to that, though, involving midterms, household chores, archaeology research, and helping my housemate, um, generate some empty beer bottles in which to put her homebrew ale. In short, when I wrote my reading response it was already past midnight and I was tired and punchy and slightly drunk.
The reading response which I turned in, for the first half of Guards! Guards!, is replicated here verbatim for your enjoyment:
A press release from the Patrician's office:
Though some bits of the city've been roast,
And that sword-waver should have been toast,
The dragon is beat
(Or at least off the street).
You may all now return to your posts.
But, from the Watch police blotter...
Dragons don't just turn into thin air,
I'm damn certain, because I was there.
Someone's at silly buggers,
But I need some Bearhugger's
Before even beginning to care.
And now a word from local merchant Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler.
My good sir, this is no kind of trick!
Posted by dianna at October 25, 2006 04:41 PM
For that dragon will roast you right quick.
You will soon come to harm
If you don't buy a charm
...While you're at it, a sausage, on stick?
From Captain Carrot to Commander Vimes:
Your fags, sir! I've got them all rolled.
It's cultists at work, I've been told.
My girl's nose will find 'em
Then I'll "undermine" 'em
Gold gold, gold gold gold, gold gold gold.
[Whispers]: (You got that the "undermine" part was a pun or play on words about my dwarfish heritage, did you, sir?)
[Vimes, sighing] (Yes, Captain, very clever.)
Kristen, I love you so much it gives me stabbing pains.
Also, I really kind of like this name and think I'll keep it for a while.
I just can't stop nodding. I want to, but I can't. Nod.
big nod for "a sausage, on stick?"
also, those stabbing pains might be from eating dibbler's food.
From Archchancellor Ridcully to the Patrician
The Watch may be bold, but sir, as you've been told
Even if some wizards are covered in mold,
(I am not naming names here--
Though Windle Poons is right there),
We'll still save the day before our meat gets cold!
From Rincewind to the Luggage
It's times like these when I miss all your feet
I could be far away, that'd be sweet
But it looks like I'm here to stay
It might be about time to pay
I gave Death a run, but now I can't cheat
From Ponder Stibbons to the Patrician
Lord Vetinari, you may think that I'm a kook
But science can help us while fists may us out-duke
I'm telling you, Hex is the best!
And though I can't speak for the rest,
Our Librarian agrees with me, he says "Ook."