August 27, 2007
Monday special feature: Fallacy of the Day!
"Don't worry, the smoke's blowing away from you."
Kids! This is Portland; the wind goes whichever way it damn well pleases. It's like the Bay Area, except without that annoying but directionally consistent ocean breeze. I know that you can smoke everywhere here and everyone does it. But if you sit down near me at lunchtime and blow your acrid smoke dramatically into the wind which is heading straight for my soy yogurt and fresh fruit, tacit permission from the relevant municipal authorities will not make you any less of a jerk.
Also, you smell and I will live longer than you. Good afternoon.
Posted by dianna at August 27, 2007 01:40 PM
Wait, they let you smoke anywhere in Portland? In buildings? In restaurants? It is a fell, barbarian land in which you now dwell.
Of course, I live in a city where people apparently think it's alright to poop on the subway platforms, so I'm not exactly one to talk.
Here you can smoke in bars, drink in strip clubs, and buy fireworks for personal use. But you can't pump your own gas, you reprobate. Have you no sense of decency?
Oh yeah, I think I heard that from my friend who went to UO. What's the story behind that? Do the gas station attendants have a powerful union?
I've also heard that Oregonian Taco Bells serve something called Fiesta Fries, which they don't serve anywhere else in the country. My friend many things about Oregon, but Fiesta Fries most of all.
Wait, now that I think about it, what kind of leverage would the International Brotherhood of Gas Pumpers even have?
"If our demands aren't met, we'll call a general strike and everyone across the state will have to pump their own gas!"
"No! I don't even know which ends goes into the gas tank! We'll agree to all of your terms!"
Are gas station attendants allowed to pump their own gas?
My mom, a very capable lady in every way, was deeply saddened when gas pumpers went out of style in California. Deeply saddened. I remember her driving us out of our way when I was a kid to go to the last remaining place where they would pump your gas for you. It's not that she couldn't do it...I think it was just a nice feeling, having someone pump your gas. I don't know. Maybe we should all move to Portland.
Oh, and big laugh to MoltenBoron. I think gas pumpers must have their gas pumped by ordinary people. Don't argue; it's the law.